Intro) (A heavy, distorted bassline pulses, mimicking a rapid heartbeat) I love you to death, but I hate your guts. You drive me safe, then you drive me nuts. One minute you’re holding me, keeping me near, The next you’re the reason for all of my fear. Yeah, "love you too," that’s the game we play, Before you turn around and walk away. (Verse 1) We stood in that room where the walls closed in A massive crowd, and the room started to spin My nervous system went to war with my brain And you stood there minimizing all of my pain You said, "It’s not a big deal, if I’m here you should stay," Like your mere presence makes the panic go away But I couldn't control it, I was completely helpless and bound While the strangers and the staff had to drag me across the ground. (Pre-Chorus) You roll your eyes when I'm choked up with tears You resent the fact that my mom heals my fears You say I get everything, I get to just leave While you sit there frustrated, watching me grieve You think it's a luxury to suffer like this? To have my body shut down in a deep black abyss? (Chorus) I love you to pieces, but I hate your guts! This toxic cycle is cutting me up! You claim that you get it, but you don't understand You offer a lecture instead of a hand Shame and the guilt, you just pile it on thick Loving you, hating you, making me sick! (Verse 2) "Not this again, I’m out, talk to you later" You flip the script like a master dictator "U don't understand but it's whatever," I say And you snap right back, trying to force me to pay Jealous of my trauma, jealous of my flight Mad because my parent doesn't make me stay and fight It’s the parents, not us, doing things different way But you hold it against me day after day. (Pre-Chorus) You roll your eyes when I'm choked up with tears You resent the fact that my mom heals my fears You say I get everything, I get to just leave While you sit there frustrated, watching me grieve You think it's a luxury to suffer like this? To have my body shut down in a deep black abyss? (Chorus) I love you to pieces, but I hate your guts! This toxic cycle is cutting me up! You claim that you get it, but you don't understand You offer a lecture instead of a hand Shame and the guilt, you just pile it on thick Loving you, hating you, making me sick! (Verse 3) "Why are you rolling your eyes?" I ask through the screen You act so annoyed by the things that you've seen I was on the wrong medication, my mind was a mess But you make it a contest of who has more stress "Do u really want to know? Oooh no you don't need to." The passive aggression you constantly feed through I needed your validation, a safe place to land Instead of the pressure of your heavy command. (Bridge) (The music drops to a tense, solo electric guitar strum) My anxiety is real, it’s a medical war It’s not a free pass out the schoolhouse door I felt humiliated, degraded, and small Carried out by my limbs down the crowded main hall You think that I chose this to ruin your day? My survival mode kicked in and blew me away I love who we were, but I hate who you are When you open your mouth just to leave a new scar. (Verse 4) "Alright we can talk later, U doing kk?" The whiplash of words that you throw out each day "Not good, I hope your day gets better soon" We swing from the sun to the dark of the moon You want me to stay when my chest is on fire To satisfy your bitter, frustrated desire But I am done feeling guilty for saving my life From a crowd that was cutting me deep like a knife. (Chorus) I love you to pieces, but I hate your guts! This toxic cycle is cutting me up! You claim that you get it, but you don't understand You offer a lecture instead of a hand Shame and the guilt, you just pile it on thick Loving you, hating you, making me sick! (Verse 5) "Yes my mom said yes, am leaving school now." I don't owe you an explanation of how Stop saying you get it, because you clearly don't You choose to be blind, or you just simply won't I can love you and wish that you'd treat me right While hating the way that you make me go tight. (Outro) (The beat abruptly stops, leaving only a faint echo) "Why are you rolling your eyes?" "I can't explain, u should know your annoyed." Yeah... talk later. Ok bye. (Sound of a phone locking, followed by sudden silence)
