[Intro — cute kid voice] Hi! I listened to your songs. I have questions. Mom said not to swear... ...fuck. [Beat drops] [Verse 1 — Sudowoodo] Sudowoodo said “Route Thirty-Six king.” Wait... weren’t they trying to move you? That’s not a kingdom. That’s traffic. And Brassius called you art? Cool! ...after he changed your type? So he fixed you first? Oh. And Bonsly grows into you? That’s it? You’re already the grown-up? ...Fuck, sorry. [Hook] I got questions! That’s all I do. If the answer sounds stupid, that’s kinda on you. I’m just little Phanpy, still learning the rules. Why the fuck am I battling three grown-up fools? [Verse 2 — Qwilfish] Qwilfish said only three types hit him super effective. Ground is one. I’m Ground. Why’d you fucking mention it? And Destiny Bond? So your backup plan starts after you lose? That’s not tough. That’s just losing with company. Oh! And you evolve! Overqwil! [Pause] ...Hisuian Qwilfish? Not you? Oh. That fucking sucks. And quit saying “come touch my spikes.” Why would I? [Verse 3 — Sunkern] Sunkern, you already said your stats suck. So what am I supposed to do? Agree harder? You said every loss is expected and every win’s a miracle. So even YOU don’t think you’re gonna win? That’s kinda sad. Then you told Qwilfish, “Grass beats Water, do the math.” I did. He’s Poison too. It’s neutral. [Pause] You fucked up your own homework. And your big flex is “You got dissed by a Sunkern!” Dude... YOU diss Sunkern more than anybody. [Bridge] Okay... One guy’s famous for blocking traffic. One bragged that my type beats him. One insults himself before anyone else can. [Pause] Are you sure I’m the baby? [Final Verse] I’m small. I’m supposed to be. I’m still growing. Then I get tusks, armor, Donphan. What do you guys get? ... Oh. Right. [Final Hook] I got questions! One, two, three! You all talked real big then explained it to me. I’m not being mean. Okay... maybe a bit. But I didn’t make your arguments sound like shit. [Outro] Did I win? ... Don’t tell Mom I said “fuck.”
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