Lupus Etiquette Notes 6 to 10

Lupus etiquette for people who do not have lupus part 2. Being responsible, helpful not hurtful. 6 Do ask how you might be helpful. Be specific with what you can offer to do as lupus cognitive challenges may be flared up that day. If you want to be supportive, there may be lots of little things I would probably appreciate your help with. However, what I really need may be very different than what you think I need so please ask first. 7 Do not offer thoughtless reassurance. When you first learn about my lupus, you may want to reassure me by saying things like hey it could be even worse. This won't make me feel better and the implicit message seems to be that lupus is no big deal, however lupus is a big deal. 8 Do be supportive of my efforts for self care. Help me set up an environment for success by supporting healthy lifestyle and nutrition choices. Please honour my own decision to decline a particular exercise food or outing even when you really want me to try it. You are most helpful when you are not being a source of unnecessary temptation or criticism. 9 Do not peek at or comment on my lab results and other tests without asking me first. These numbers are private unless I choose to share them. There are many reasons for having numbers and other results that are sometimes too low or too high. Your unsolicited comments about these numbers and other results can add to the disappointment, frustration and anger I already have. 10 Do offer your love and encouragement. As I work hard to manage my lupus successfully, sometimes just knowing that you care can be very helpful and motivating.