EIGHT-LEGGED TERROR [Intro] Tap… tap… tap… [Verse 1 — Spoken] Mom? There’s a spider on the ceiling. No, I’m not scared. I’m just telling you because it’s… pretty big. And hairy. Why is it looking at me? Okay… I’m just gonna walk underneath it. Because I’m not scared of a stupid little— … Where’d it go? Wait… What’s that little string? And what’s that on the end of— AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! [Chorus — Sung, Full Band] Eight-legged terror! Coming after me! Hanging from a little thread Where he knows I’m gonna be! Eight-legged terror! Get away from me! I know that little monster Gets his kicks from scaring me! [Verse 2 — Spoken] Okay. I have to use the bathroom. Nothing on the ceiling. Nothing on the floor. See? Perfectly safe. Just open the door and— … No. No no no. Is that… above the handle? You have GOT to be kidding me. It’s him. Why is he sitting there?! He KNOWS I have to pee! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! [Chorus — Sung, Full Band] Eight-legged terror! Coming after me! First he drops down from the ceiling, Now he guards the lavatory! Eight-legged terror! Get away from me! I swear that little monster Is doing this deliberately! [Verse 3 — Spoken] I’m thirsty. That’s all. Just get some water. I’m bigger than him. I’m smarter than him. …probably. Glass. Tap. Water. Back upstairs. Easy. … Why is there something in the sink? No. No no no no no. How did you even GET in there?! Okay. You stay there… I’ll get my water… And— Did you just move? DON’T MOVE. … HE MOVED! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! [Final Chorus — Sung, Double-Time] Eight-legged terror! He’s everywhere I go! Ceiling, door and kitchen sink— How does that spider know?! Eight-legged terror! He’s making sport of me! I know that little monster Gets his kicks from scaring me! HEY! From the ceiling! HEY! By the loo! HEY! In the sink— WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU?! [Stop] Tap… tap… tap… Wait. Do spiders… climb stairs? … AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
