Bad advice

1999 New Jersey underground battle rap, 150 BPM | Punchy chopped breakbeats, deep mono bass, steel-pan orchestra, vinyl scratching | Rapid double-time verses with crisp consonants, elastic phrasing and dry, sardonic bite; land punchlines behind the beat | Crack snares over a heavy half-time backbone; shuffle ghost notes beneath tightly sliced drum loops | Strike short minor-key steel-pan figures; let low pans answer the bass and high pans puncture vocal gaps | Sparse brass stabs, gritty sampler texture, close dry lead vocal, rough shouted crew hooks | Strip verses around dense bars; expand the pan ensemble for hooks | Cut everything to silence before the final chorus, then slam the full ensemble back in

Turn your back on relativity, gravity’s offended,
Tried to leave the planet but the pavement recommended
That I dress like a citizen, grin for the inspection,
Got a dragon in the lobby being questioned at reception.

Take a sociopath’s perspective, put it back before it sticks,
Question recreational drugs: “Who invited you to this?”
Men are lurking in the shadows, selling trust beside the bins,
Bought a packet, read the label: “May contain your former friends.”

Make love to a secret identity, forget the name,
Now the morning after’s awkward and we both deny the claim.
Never apologise for being hot; I caught alight,
And the self-help poster told me I was doing it right.

[Chorus]
Bad advice, bad advice, read it twice, roll the dice,
Every little contradiction comes with such a friendly smile.
“You must! You should!” Get out my ear!
Got a gnome with a clipboard running my career.
Bad advice, bad advice, bargain wisdom, premium price,
YOU DON’T HAVE TO FEEL BAD ABOUT BEING UNHEALTHY!
Put it big, put it red, let it shout across the page,
Then the tiny print demands I be somebody else again.

[Verse 2]
Upper class consider me deceased; I’m still attending,
Lower class think I’m gorgeous; now the funeral’s trending.
Joke about money till the money starts to heckle,
Speak about a lizard; he’s the treasurer, he’s special.

Take ownership of dragons, get a signature in smoke,
Try to challenge all the sunshine; got a sunburn and a quote.
Spy upon your inner child; he’s eating confiscated sweets,
Says, “You used to be more fun before you learned to read receipts.”

Stop being important, but contextualise the powerful,
I’ve been shrinking in the margins for approximately an hour.
Choose a better world, decline to steer it, let it drift,
There’s a gnome beneath the bonnet with a never-ending gift.

Yell at demons, doubt deceivers, dream of people that you miss,
Every sentence grabs my collar: “You should live your life like THIS!”
Fold the page into a plane and let it wobble through the air,
Hits a billionaire’s forehead. He invoices me for care.

[Break]
Hold up.
Where’s the gnome?
He’s got my pension.
Leave him alone.

[Final Chorus]
Bad advice, bad advice, read it twice, roll the dice,
Every little contradiction comes with such a friendly smile.
“You must! You should!” Get out my ear!
Got a gnome with a clipboard running my career.
Bad advice, bad advice, bargain wisdom, premium price,
YOU DON’T HAVE TO FEEL BAD ABOUT BEING UNHEALTHY!
Put it big, put it red, let it shout across the page,
Then the tiny print demands I be somebody else again.

[Outro]
Bad advice, bad advice—
Gnome approved, inflated price.
Bad advice, bad advice—
Dragon ate the copyright.

2924/7500

[Verse 1] Never mediocre, be pathetic with precision, Got a leprechaun appointed to the board of bad decisions. First protect him, then forget him, let him fend for himself, Trust a billionaire who charges you to ask him for help. Turn your back on relativity, gravity’s offended, Tried to leave the planet but the pavement recommended That I dress like a citizen, grin for the inspection, Got a dragon in the lobby being questioned at reception. Take a sociopath’s perspective, put it back before it sticks, Question recreational drugs: “Who invited you to this?” Men are lurking in the shadows, selling trust beside the bins, Bought a packet, read the label: “May contain your former friends.” Make love to a secret identity, forget the name, Now the morning after’s awkward and we both deny the claim. Never apologise for being hot; I caught alight, And the self-help poster told me I was doing it right. [Chorus] Bad advice, bad advice, read it twice, roll the dice, Every little contradiction comes with such a friendly smile. “You must! You should!” Get out my ear! Got a gnome with a clipboard running my career. Bad advice, bad advice, bargain wisdom, premium price, YOU DON’T HAVE TO FEEL BAD ABOUT BEING UNHEALTHY! Put it big, put it red, let it shout across the page, Then the tiny print demands I be somebody else again. [Verse 2] Upper class consider me deceased; I’m still attending, Lower class think I’m gorgeous; now the funeral’s trending. Joke about money till the money starts to heckle, Speak about a lizard; he’s the treasurer, he’s special. Take ownership of dragons, get a signature in smoke, Try to challenge all the sunshine; got a sunburn and a quote. Spy upon your inner child; he’s eating confiscated sweets, Says, “You used to be more fun before you learned to read receipts.” Stop being important, but contextualise the powerful, I’ve been shrinking in the margins for approximately an hour. Choose a better world, decline to steer it, let it drift, There’s a gnome beneath the bonnet with a never-ending gift. Yell at demons, doubt deceivers, dream of people that you miss, Every sentence grabs my collar: “You should live your life like THIS!” Fold the page into a plane and let it wobble through the air, Hits a billionaire’s forehead. He invoices me for care. [Break] Hold up. Where’s the gnome? He’s got my pension. Leave him alone. [Final Chorus] Bad advice, bad advice, read it twice, roll the dice, Every little contradiction comes with such a friendly smile. “You must! You should!” Get out my ear! Got a gnome with a clipboard running my career. Bad advice, bad advice, bargain wisdom, premium price, YOU DON’T HAVE TO FEEL BAD ABOUT BEING UNHEALTHY! Put it big, put it red, let it shout across the page, Then the tiny print demands I be somebody else again. [Outro] Bad advice, bad advice— Gnome approved, inflated price. Bad advice, bad advice— Dragon ate the copyright.

0/500