[Intro With Grand Piano] Oh, the saga unfolds, with bytes and with bits, In a world where the data often throws fits. [Verse 1 - Strings & Light Percussion] In the depth of the night, with my screen glowing bright, I speak to my data, seeking insight. But alas and alack, it talks back with spite, "Garbage in, garbage out," it mocks my plight. [Bridge - Harpsichord] With algorithms strong, I try to belong, In this data dance, I must be headstrong. But the datasets conspire, they just lead me wrong, A tragic opera, my unwritten song. [Chorus 1 - Full Orchestra] It's not me, it's you, dear data, you see, I've cleaned, I've pruned, yet you flee from me. A lament so deep, it belongs in the sea, Oh, why can't you be what I need thee to be? [Verse 2 - Brass & Timpani] I've tried all the tricks, from regression to mix, In this data-driven drama, I'm in a fix. A narrative of numbers, a comedic matrix, Yet here I stand, in a state of perplex. [Bridge - Solo Violin] In each column and row, a story to sow, But your nulls and your outliers just grow and grow. A puzzle so vast, in the shadow I'm cast, A data scientist's lament, in the digital blast. [Chorus 2 - Full Orchestra with Choir] Garbage in, garbage out, a relentless shout, In thi [Chorus 2 - Full Orchestra with Choir] Garbage in, garbage out, a relentless shout, In this data debacle, I'm left with doubt. Yet I quest for the truth, with a statistical sleuth, In the hope that, one day, you'll show your uncouth. [Outro - Grand Piano & Soft Strings] So here's to the data, my frenemy true, In the chaos you create, I find my cue. Though you often frustrate, I cannot hate, For in every challenge, a lesson to conflate. [End - A Single Note on the Piano] And in the end, it's a comedy divine, In the world of data, where the sun doesn't shine.
