[taxi horn] [rain hitting windshield] [distant gunfire] --- announcer: need to get somewhere? for only 5 credits Bobbo's Taxi Service will get you there! --- eventually. --- our drivers know the city! the back streets! the side streets! and at least two streets that technically no longer exist! --- need a ride to work? we got you. --- need a ride home? we got you. --- need to disappear for a few days and start asking people to call you by a different name? we can discuss rates. --- customer: is it safe? --- announcer: our vehicles pass inspection whenever inspections occur. --- every ride includes: working doors! mostly functional brakes! and free local commentary from drivers with strong opinions! --- avoid rain! avoid walking! avoid public transportation! avoid eye contact with strangers! --- all for just **5 credits!** --- Bobbo's Taxi Service! ### cheaper than an ambulance. ### faster than walking. ### usually. --- [rapid disclaimer] Bobbo's Taxi Service is not responsible for delays caused by gang wars, labor disputes, acid rain, corporate security operations, drone strikes, road collapses, vehicle fires, driver philosophy, unexpected checkpoints, or sudden route changes motivated by self-preservation. Additional fees may apply for active combat zones, extradition requests, or destinations described as "you'll know it when you see it." Bobbo's Taxi Service will get you there! eventually.
