**Verse 1** I know their voices by the silence That settles after every call I know the shape of every memory Hanging crooked on the wall I reach for things I cannot touch Like maybe love can cross the miles Like maybe if I hold on hard enough I’ll catch one more ordinary smile I keep thinking I’ll find the right words Something strong enough to mend But every sentence feels too small For everything I want to send So I say, *I love you, I’m still here* And hope they hear what I can’t explain How a mother can keep reaching And still feel late again **Pre-Chorus** I know love doesn’t disappear Just because the room is empty But some nights distance has a voice And it sounds too much like blame **Chorus** I keep missing them Even when I’m reaching Even when my whole heart Is screaming through the distance I keep missing them By a second, by a mile By a memory, by a moment By a photograph, a smile And the two I still hold close Carry pieces of that day While the three beyond my reach Still live in everything I say Five hearts changed forever And I still don’t know what to do Except keep loving every one of them And keep trying to get through **Verse 2** There are birthdays in my calendar And little things I still remember Favorite foods and certain songs The way one laughed in December I wonder what they’ve been told I wonder what they think is true I wonder if they ever question How much I still belong to you And here at home I keep on moving Because two hearts still need me here They deserve a mother present Not disappearing into fear But guilt has got a wicked way Of making love feel split in two Like holding the ones beside me Means I’m failing the ones I lose **Pre-Chorus** But love was never meant to choose One child over another I can be here and still be grieving I can hurt and still be mother **Chorus** I keep missing them Even when I’m reaching Even when my whole heart Is screaming through the distance I keep missing them By a second, by a mile By a memory, by a moment By a photograph, a smile And the two I still hold close Carry pieces of that day While the three beyond my reach Still live in everything I say Five hearts changed forever And I still don’t know what to do Except keep loving every one of them And keep trying to get through **Bridge** Maybe I keep saying “missing” Like I’m the one who failed to arrive Like every gap between us Is something I should have survived Like if I loved them hard enough No distance could exist But sometimes love is being forced To live inside the ache of this I didn’t stop being their mother When the doors closed in my face I didn’t stop knowing their birthdays Or remembering every trace And the ones who sleep beneath my roof Still know the shape of what was lost We all learned that loving someone Doesn’t mean you control the cost **Breakdown** Three out there. Two still here. Five still mine to love. And every single day My heart tries to live In five places at once. **Final Chorus** I keep missing them But maybe missing isn’t failure Maybe reaching through the distance Still means something to a child later I keep missing them And I hate how much it hurts But love is still alive here Even when the world made it worse The two I still hold close Know I’m trying every day The three beyond my reach Still have a place that doesn’t fade Five hearts changed forever Five names inside my chest And if all I can do tonight Is keep loving them my best Then I will Even from here Even through this Even when I keep missing them **Outro** I’m still here. I still remember. I still love you. All five. Always.
