What if

With respect to Schattenwerk. What if… Such a small question. A question that can weigh heavier than entire years. What if I had stayed? What if I had left? What if I had found the courage? What if I had simply tried? We all carry questions like these inside us. Some for weeks. Some for decades. And the older we get… the more often we look back… at the roads we never took. What if I had said yes back then? To the journey. To the dream. To the life I kept putting off. What if I had started sooner? With music. With living. With the things that truly mattered to me. What if I had recognized the moment… while it was still right in front of me? We imagine entire lives in our minds. We build whole worlds from choices we did or did not make. And still, somehow… we keep ending up before the same door. What if… How many nights have I spent lying awake? How many roads have I walked again inside my head? How many lives have I imagined? And how many answers have I never reached? What if… The question takes more than it gives. It steals my peace, but it never brings me truth. Because no matter how many times I turn in circles… the answer remains in a place I can never go. What if I had chosen a different career? A different city. A different path. A different version of myself. What if I had made another choice? At that one crossroads. On that one day. In that one conversation. What if none of this had ever happened? Would anyone feel the absence? Or would it only be me? We count the doors we never opened. And sometimes forget how many we have already walked through. What if… How many nights have I spent lying awake? How many roads have I walked again inside my head? How many lives have I imagined? And how many answers have I never reached? What if… The question takes more than it gives. It steals my peace, but it never brings me truth. Because no matter how many times I turn in circles… the answer remains in a place I can never go. Maybe everything would have turned out better. Maybe everything would have fallen apart. Maybe I would have achieved more. Maybe I would have lost more. Maybe I would have never met certain people. Maybe others would have never found me. Maybe somewhere, there are a thousand versions of me… all asking the very same question. What if… What if… What if… Maybe… that is the wrong question. What if… How many years have I spent searching for answers no one can give? How many shadows have I created myself because I could not let go? What if… Maybe the answer was never meant to be found. Maybe all we are meant to understand is this: Every road takes something from us. And every road gives something back. What if I had stayed? What if I had left? What if I had started sooner? What if I had chosen differently? Maybe I would have achieved more. Maybe I would have lost more. Maybe everything would have turned out better. Maybe it would not have. But one thing I know: If I had taken a different road back then… you would not be here today. And I would not have become the person who is even able to ask this question. And maybe… that is the only answer we will ever get. What if… Maybe we will never know. And maybe… that is part of life.