[Instrumental Opening] [Verse 1] There’s been a trend Among the ponies of today To cut their tails short They do it to show off Their cutie marks And I’m back here thinking No one wants to see that, Sure your rump is plump But it doesn’t offset That baby bump, I don’t want to care For another stallion’s Mare they’ve pumped A bunch of foolish Foals into… I’m more of a manwhore Kinda guy, I like to horse around And I get so many nays That all the girls with their tails cut short Love to say… Slim pickings today though, I’m in my usual spot Waiting for someone to walk Past this alleyway, Oh here we go, Clean white butt with long flowing hair I use my hooves to drag her towards me She was caught off guard and slipped And that’s when I realized I fucked up… [Instrumental Bridge] [Chorus] This ain’t no earth pony Or pegasus phony This ain’t no unicorn Waiting for her turn, This is an alicorn… And this isn’t a mistake That I can escape from Who else but Celestia The top of the chain The most royal tail In all of Equestria… [Instrumental Bridge] [Verse 2] I crossed my hooves and prayed I begged to Pony Jesus That he would find the heart to forgive My hate for the Zebras And all the ponies I’ve raped… But something magical happened In that moment of fragility Princess Celestia arose And her horn was in the perfect place To go right into my ass… For those who don’t know She’s six feet long With a nine inch horn And furthermore, I’m four foot five With a three inch “horn”… So I was holding on As she spun around Trying to get me off Not sexually, But that’s besides the point… She was so panicked That she began to shoot magic All right up in my ass I’m talking fireworks Manifesting and blowing Squirts of water and lava All up in there… And I’m sure you’re aware That she controls time So the Sun was setting And the Moon was rising So the Sun would rise And the Moon would set… Over and over repeatedly, There were dozens of ponies All in the streets With seizures… But I still didn’t plop off So Celestia took to the sky Trying to fly Away from me I tried to scream But she didn’t hear me… I should never have craved Equestrian Tail, No… not today… [Instrumental Bridge] [Chorus] This ain’t no earth pony Or pegasus phony This ain’t no unicorn Waiting for her turn, This is an alicorn… And this isn’t a mistake That I can escape from Who else but Celestia The top of the chain The most royal tail In all of Equestria… [Instrumental Bridge] [Bridge] We were miles in the sky When I fell off And began to dive… Straight down So far I fell… My fall was broken By a dragon Who caught me midair, I was so thankful Until I realized, Where he was taking me… [Instrumental Bridge] [Outro] Erase my name from history Cause I’m the slot for dragon key They took a liking to me Cause my tail hole was so pretty At least that’s what they said But it was just big Because it didn’t close No, not after what Celestia did to me… So this is my life A loop of misery And now I am what I desired… Equestrian Tail… [Instrumental Fade Out]
