A Billion Dollars Don't Buy What It Used To - (A Star Citizen Parody)

Southern rock, blues rock, humorous bar-band storytelling

**[Intro]**
(spoken)
"Y'know, I got to thinkin' the other day..."
"A billion dollars used to build a lot of things."
(end spoken)

**[Verse 1]**
A billion dollars used to build a lot of things,
Rocket ships, highways, and championship rings,
Now it buys a spaceport and a brand-new cargo mule,
Then throws me through a station wall lookin' like a fool.

Got coffee vendors, food courts, and a skyline lookin' grand,
But my ship forgot its landing gear halfway to the sand.
I'm no economist, but it seems a little strange,
A billion bucks and we're still waitin' on the finished stage.

**[Chorus]**
A billion dollars don't buy what it used to,
Bought a spaceship, got another roadmap too.
Got cities, moons, and planets all shiny and new,
But I'm still fightin' elevators just to make it through.

One more roadmap and another grand debut,
One more feature and another promise comin' soon.
I ain't complainin', I'm just tellin' it true—
Things sure ain't workin' like they ought to.

**[Refrain]**
One more roadmap,
One more plan,
One more promise just beyond our hands.

Every patch says "Soon,"
Every year insists,
Maybe next year's when it all gets here.

**[Verse 2]**
They added new mechanics, another gameplay loop,
Now my tractor beam's carryin' me instead of the loot.
The mission paid real good, sounded mighty fine,
Till the target hit a mountain and the mission said goodbye.

The patch notes said they fixed it in a hundred different ways,
By Friday half those fixes had already gone astray.
That bug from three years back came rollin' back again,
Like it signed a lifetime contract and brought all of its friends.

One more roadmap and another grand debut,
One more feature and another promise comin' soon.
I ain't complainin', I'm just tellin' it true—
Things sure ain't workin' like they ought to.

**[Bridge]**
Every CitizenCon they put on quite a show,
"Here's the future!" and the whole crowd goes, "Whoa!"
There's base buildin', craftin', and ten systems more,
While my ship's still losin' fights with hangar floors.

Hope springs eternal in a backer's heart,
We'll buy another paint and call it a fresh start.
Next year's the year, least that's what we're told,
They've been sayin' "next year's the year" and we're gettin' old.

[Guitar Solo]

**[Refrain]**
One more roadmap,
One more plan,
One more promise just beyond our hands.

Every patch says "Soon,"
Every year insists,
Maybe next year's when it all gets here.

**[Final Chorus]**
A billion dollars don't buy what it used to,
Bought a spaceship, got another roadmap too.
Got cities, moons, and planets all shiny and new,
But I'm still fightin' elevators just to make it through.

Still chasin' that universe they promised me and you,
I'll probably log back in tomorrow like I always do.
We'll all be back next quarter singin' this same tune—
'Cause a billion dollars don't buy what it used to.

3083/7500

**[Intro]** (spoken) "Y'know, I got to thinkin' the other day..." "A billion dollars used to build a lot of things." (end spoken) **[Verse 1]** A billion dollars used to build a lot of things, Rocket ships, highways, and championship rings, Now it buys a spaceport and a brand-new cargo mule, Then throws me through a station wall lookin' like a fool. Got coffee vendors, food courts, and a skyline lookin' grand, But my ship forgot its landing gear halfway to the sand. I'm no economist, but it seems a little strange, A billion bucks and we're still waitin' on the finished stage. **[Chorus]** A billion dollars don't buy what it used to, Bought a spaceship, got another roadmap too. Got cities, moons, and planets all shiny and new, But I'm still fightin' elevators just to make it through. One more roadmap and another grand debut, One more feature and another promise comin' soon. I ain't complainin', I'm just tellin' it true— Things sure ain't workin' like they ought to. **[Refrain]** One more roadmap, One more plan, One more promise just beyond our hands. Every patch says "Soon," Every year insists, Maybe next year's when it all gets here. **[Verse 2]** They added new mechanics, another gameplay loop, Now my tractor beam's carryin' me instead of the loot. The mission paid real good, sounded mighty fine, Till the target hit a mountain and the mission said goodbye. The patch notes said they fixed it in a hundred different ways, By Friday half those fixes had already gone astray. That bug from three years back came rollin' back again, Like it signed a lifetime contract and brought all of its friends. **[Chorus]** A billion dollars don't buy what it used to, Bought a spaceship, got another roadmap too. Got cities, moons, and planets all shiny and new, But I'm still fightin' elevators just to make it through. One more roadmap and another grand debut, One more feature and another promise comin' soon. I ain't complainin', I'm just tellin' it true— Things sure ain't workin' like they ought to. **[Bridge]** Every CitizenCon they put on quite a show, "Here's the future!" and the whole crowd goes, "Whoa!" There's base buildin', craftin', and ten systems more, While my ship's still losin' fights with hangar floors. Hope springs eternal in a backer's heart, We'll buy another paint and call it a fresh start. Next year's the year, least that's what we're told, They've been sayin' "next year's the year" and we're gettin' old. [Guitar Solo] **[Refrain]** One more roadmap, One more plan, One more promise just beyond our hands. Every patch says "Soon," Every year insists, Maybe next year's when it all gets here. **[Final Chorus]** A billion dollars don't buy what it used to, Bought a spaceship, got another roadmap too. Got cities, moons, and planets all shiny and new, But I'm still fightin' elevators just to make it through. Still chasin' that universe they promised me and you, I'll probably log back in tomorrow like I always do. We'll all be back next quarter singin' this same tune— 'Cause a billion dollars don't buy what it used to.

0/500