Boundless but Barely Holding It Together

Verse 1 I read a book called Boundless Parenting, It said raise your kid like a Spartan king. Cold plunges, no screens, twelve languages before three— Meanwhile I forgot where I put my own car keys. Chorus We’re boundless but borderline unhinged, Tracking bowel movements like we’re data-binged. We’ve hacked sleep and play, but not tantrum Zen— Can I microdose patience and try this again? Verse 2 I gave my kid adaptogens instead of dessert, Now she won’t nap unless she’s wearing a red light shirt. She’s keto, paleo, and raw milk-fed, But cries every time I won’t let her eat bread. Verse 3 They say “Don't outsource parenting to an iPad,” But how else do I meditate while keeping them from going mad? Juice cleanses, home births, and no EMF— My WiFi’s off but I’m still totally stressed. Chorus We’re boundless but borderline unhinged, Tracking bowel movements like we’re data-binged. We’ve hacked sleep and play, but not tantrum Zen— Can I microdose patience and try this again? Verse 4 Ben Greenfield’s kid plays the violin shirtless, While mine just bit someone at church service. I tried “grounding” her with copper-soled shoes— She just licked a rock and screamed, “I am news!” Chorus We’re boundless but borderline unhinged, Tracking bowel movements like we’re data-binged. We’ve hacked sleep and play, but not tantrum Zen— Can I microdose patience and try this again? Verse 5 So here’s to the parents biohacking with pride, We’re jacked on nootropics but dying inside. I love my kids, but let's make it clear: I’m boundless too... boundlessly weird. Final Chorus Whether you're a dangerously optimized dad or a mitochondrially-marvelous mom Edify yourself at LimitlessMindset.com