[Slut-funk groove · sweaty horns · lascivious breaths] [Intro] (mmm… Winter’s Crest finna get nasty this year…) (ohhhh Winter’s Crest… y’all ain’t READY…) Backdoor Ossir’s in the camp tonight— (jingle that whole ass, baby…) [Verse 1 · slut-funk strut] II’m Backdoor Ossir, baby— Winter’s Crest is my parade, I slide where curtains flutter, where the brave boys misbehave. If your tent flap ain’t secure? Mm, that’s a welcome open door— And if your shadows start a-grindin’? Baby, I’M what they’re grindin’ FOR. I don’t need no dirty chimney— I prefer a hotter path. If your bedroll starts a-shakin’? That’s just ass-quake math. I’m a holiday equation that your body solves with glee— 1 Ossir + 2 lovers = 3 holes filled with ecstasy. I’m your Backdoor Ossir— creepin’ in with style, I ain’t bringin’ toys— I’m giftin' moans by the mile. I’m your Backdoor Ossir— body thick n' slick, If Winter’s Crest is comin’? Then I’m fillin’ holes with dick. (backdoor… front door… side door… ALL DOORS…) [Verse 2] Saw Jimmy by the fire— lookin’ lonely, lookin’ sweet, Booty sittin’ pretty like a delicious Winter’s Crest treat. I said “Angel boy, come warm with me,” he blushed that perfect red— Slut melted like hot butter as I ate his donut spread. And Rissa? Dirty Rissa— pretendin’ she came for lore, But really she’s crouched in shadows, watchin’ boys go at it raw. Girl, you ain’t subtle— you moan behind the drape, But baby, it’s Winter’s Crest… you get off watchin’ boys gape. (uh-huh, keep watchin’, sweetheart…) [Pre-Chorus · sleazy riffs] I bless the camp with rhythm, I bless the night with grind, If you hear me hummin’? Someone losin’ their fuckin mind… (oh I'm gonna come baby!) [Chorus] I’m your Backdoor Ossir— sleazin’ through the frost, If you feel your breath hitch? Mm, baby, you already lost. I’m your Backdoor Ossir— sweet as Crest-time spice, If you open up your door baby? I’ll be twice as nice. (twiiice… mmm…) [Verse] Crag stomped in the kitchen like “PUT SOME DAMN PANTS ON, MAD DOG!” But that apron couldn’t hide it— man’s cock thick as a log. Next thing— pots clatter, pans shatter, cream splatters high, If you heard a bang past midnight? That was US, balls deep, don’t ask why. (we preheated each other’s holes, honey…) Then Tazar lumbered in— big sweetheart, mountain-strong and shy, Said, “Ossir… is this Winter’s Crest?” with that soft uncertain eye. I said “Baby, YOU’RE Winter’s Crest— look at you, all warmth and might,” He blushed so hard the campfire dimmed— gods, that boy lit up the night. Half-orc muscle, full-heart blush, sweat shimmer on his skin, He spread me wide, my door got filled— ALL DOORS thundered in. [Breakdown] Then Mephala sashayed in— hips lethal, legendary, vast, Said “Ossir, call me sister-thicca ONE more time and it’s your LAST.” But baby, she smirked… bent right down… bitch open up her door. And Anga strapped in behind her like “Ossir, let’s take this whore.” Doors flew wide and holes got pumped— magic crackled in, Mephala double‑stuffed and screamin’, every hole a way to sin. Lanterns swung so fierce, holes spread wide like open doors, Even Sune peeked down like “Don’t stop— my temples thrive on orgies just like yours!” (ALL DOORS, baby…) [Bridge] My midnight kitty Tsani purred hot against my ear, “Holiday boy, come knock on my door”— that voice was sharp, sincere. Black fur gleamin’, tail flickin’, eyes tighter than fate, She spread herself and moaned, “ALL DOORS are open— don’t you wait.” (yes, KITTY… ALL DOORS…) Then Jenova appeared— rope charmin’, smirk wicked, Said, “Ossir, behave.” Bitch knew I’d NEVER lick it. Magic circles burnin’, wax drippin’ hot on my skin, She bound me tight in crimson rope— “ALL DOORS, let’s begin.” Her candles dripped, her whip cracked, the shadows moaned in time, She shoved that black strap-on deep in my back door— the ritual felt divine. No mercy in her laughter, no escape from witch’s lore, She hexed my ass wide open— “ALL HOLES, ALL DOORS, forevermore.” Crag slammed Jimmy’s donut, mountain force on backdoor tight. Rissa rode Tazar’s holy cock, Sune’s lovers lost in light. Tsani scissored Mephala raw, claws and goddess screams collide. Anga knotted Jenova bound, her strap splittin holes wide. Ossir stood back, admiring— “ALL DOORS fulfilled, what lore!” Theo shuffled past us all, nose deep in some dusty tome, Saying “Hmm… fascinating glyphwork…” while an orgy shook the dome. Never looked up ONCE— even when someone’s come hit his knee, Winter’s Crest could EXPLODE and he’d just mutter, “let me read. Ossir stood back, admiring— “ALL DOORS fulfilled, what lore!” Theo shuffled past us all, nose deep in some dusty tome, Saying “Hmm… fascinating glyphwork…” while an orgy shook the dome. Never looked up ONCE— even when someone’s come hit his knee, Winter’s Crest could EXPLODE and he’d just mutter, “let me read.” [Final Chorus] I’m your Backdoor Ossir— unleash the holiday roar, If you hear the bells a-jinglin’? Honey, I’m at your DOOR. I’m your Backdoor Ossir— spirit wild and free, Winter’s Crest gets gets SLUTTIER each time you call on ME. (backdoor… backdoor...BACKDOOR OSSIR!) [Outro · funk fade] (ohhhh fuck… someone better clean this mess up) (who’s next— I mean… who else needs… FESTIVE CHEER?)
