[Intro: Heavy, distorted guitar riff kicks in immediately, aggressive and fast-paced. A driving drum beat with loud, crashing cymbals. Sounds like an alarm clock from hell.] [Verse 1: Gritty, slightly restrained male vocal, almost speaking-singing. The bass line is prominent and brooding. A sense of building pressure.] 「請問，牠會自己上廁所嗎？」 「會不會掉毛？我對灰塵有點過敏。」 「三個月大？啊… 有沒有更小一點的？」 (內心OS: 有啊，昨晚剛出生的你要不要？) [Pre-Chorus: Tempo picks up slightly. Drums become more intense with rapid snare hits. Vocals gain a sarcastic edge.] 你的眼神 充滿了聖潔的光 你的問題 像天堂來的絕響 我掛著微笑 用盡畢生的涵養 理智的弦 在斷裂邊緣 晃啊晃 [Chorus: Full-blown explosion. Fast, powerful punk rock style. Vocals become a passionate, almost shouting roar. Power chords on the guitar, frantic drumming.] 喔！愛心一百分！智商像被狗啃！ 牠不是填充玩偶 不會附說明書一本！ 喔！愛心一百分！拜託你關上門！ 你的「愛」太沉重 我怕牠會生吞活剝這個「人」！ [Verse 2: Music pulls back slightly, similar to Verse 1 but with more audible frustration in the vocals.] 「可以只吃乾糧嗎？罐頭好貴的。」 「牠晚上會不會叫？我鄰居很難搞的。」 「如果… 我是說如果，養不習慣能退嗎？」 (內心OS: 這不是七天鑑賞期的吸塵器！) [Pre-Chorus: Build-up again, faster and more agitated than the first one. A tremolo-picked guitar line adds to the tension.] 你的假設 總是挑戰我三觀 你的邏輯 已超越人類極限 我深呼吸 告訴自己要和善 去你的和善！我現在只想翻桌吶喊！ [Chorus: Even more intense and desperate than before. Vocals are raw, bordering on a scream. A chaotic, short guitar solo is layered over the top.] 喔！愛心一百分！智商像被狗啃！ 牠不是填充玩偶 不會附說明書一本！ 喔！愛心一百分！拜託你關上門！ 你的「愛」太沉重 我怕牠會生吞活剝這個「人」！ [Bridge: Tempo abruptly drops. Clean, echoing guitar arpeggios. Vocals are a near-whisper, full of exhaustion and genuine sadness.] 我看著籠裡 那雙清澈的眼 牠只想要 一個不被退貨的明天 一個家 不需要金碧輝煌 只需要 你別再… 輕易地講… [Ad-lib/Screaming Section: Music crashes back in, faster and more chaotic than ever. Hardcore punk feel.] 住手！不要那樣抓牠的後頸！ 走開！罐頭不是這樣開！ 閉嘴！牠的名字不是「欸」！ 夠了！我說夠了——！ (Sound of a microphone stand crashing) [Outro: The music cuts out abruptly, leaving only the sound of a single, heavily distorted guitar chord ringing out and fading slowly into feedback noise. Then, silence.]
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