Natural Habitat

[INTRO — NARRATOR] Here we observe the human in his natural habitat. He has begun repairing a fan. It is unclear whether the fan was part of the original project. He appears confident. This is concerning. [VERSE 1] Okay— I came in here to tighten one screw Now the whole damn table got a different worldview Pulled one wire, found two more Found a remote I been looking three months for Nice. Put that there— No, somewhere safe Grown-man language for "vanish without trace" Had a little cup with the screws all stacked Then I needed the cup Now the screws are back On the floor. Perfect. Where's my phone? [NARRATOR] The phone is in his hand. [VERSE 1] Oh. That's dope. Anyway— I need a flathead, Phillips, pliers Why do I own seventeen rolls of wire? None are the gauge that I currently need But I got six feet of cable from 2003 Might use that. Put it in the pile marked— [NARRATOR] There is no marked pile. [VERSE 1] There is mentally. Keep up. [HOOK] He appears to be busy Nobody knows with what He appears to be busy Don't interrupt Got one thing open Three things apart Five little projects and half of a start He appears to be busy Nobody knows with what [NARRATOR] Including him. [VERSE 2] Hold up— I came for a wrench, why am I sweeping? Found this little motor, is this worth keeping? Yeah, obviously, that's a stupid question Put it with the other future inventions This one works. I think. Smell it. [NARRATOR] He has elected to smell the motor. This behavior is not understood by science. [VERSE 2] Burnt electronics got a particular scent That's diagnostic— [NARRATOR] He says, with no supporting evidence. [VERSE 2] Man, fuck you. Plug that in— Nope. Unplug that. We learned something. [NARRATOR] It is unclear what was learned. [VERSE 2] We learned don't plug that in. That's information. Where's the pen? [NARRATOR] Behind his ear. [VERSE 2] You're starting to piss me off. [HOOK] He appears to be busy Nobody knows with what He appears to be busy Don't interrupt Got one thing open Three things apart Five little projects and half of a start He appears to be busy Nobody knows with what [NARRATOR] A system is beginning to emerge. We remain skeptical. [VERSE 3] Look— People think a straight line gets you there quicker I zigzag through the room like a drunk Roomba figure Start at A, somehow visit Q Come back holding something that can actually fix B too That's called efficiency. [NARRATOR] It is not. [VERSE 3] That's called— [NARRATOR] No. [VERSE 3] Can I finish? [NARRATOR] Previous observations suggest otherwise. [VERSE 3] Okay, that was good. Little bracket right here Need a hole right there Could grab the drill but the drill ain't charged Battery's dead so I pull it apart Now I'm fixing the charger. [NARRATOR] The original fan remains untouched. [VERSE 3] Fan ain't going nowhere. [NARRATOR] Correct. [VERSE 3] See? We're agreeing now. Battery clicks Little green light Charger works Okay, that's tight Grab the drill Make the hole Mount the bracket— Wait. Why's the fan working? [NARRATOR] The fan is working. Neither party knows when this occurred. [BREAK] Don't touch anything. [NARRATOR] For once, sound advice. [VERSE 4] Now I could stop here— [NARRATOR] He will not. [VERSE 4] I could clean up— [NARRATOR] He will not. [VERSE 4] Put the tools back— [NARRATOR] He will not. [VERSE 4] Can you quit doing that? [NARRATOR] He cannot. [VERSE 4] Fine. Fan's got a wobble, though. [NARRATOR] And there it is. [VERSE 4] Tiny little shake at the top of the frame Probably bearing, maybe blade Could leave it alone— [NARRATOR] He physically cannot. [VERSE 4] Pull one clip Another comes loose Spring shoots off like it got something to prove Everybody freeze. Nobody move. [NARRATOR] There is nobody else in the room. [VERSE 4] I wasn't talking to people. Found it. Under the chair. Put it back. Wrong way. Take it out. Flip that. Click. Spin. [NARRATOR] The wobble has stopped. [VERSE 4] That's dope. [NARRATOR] He says this frequently. [VERSE 4] HEY. [FINAL HOOK] He appears to be busy Now we know with what He takes the long way around But the damn thing runs One thing finished Three things improved Five little projects somehow got moved He appears to be busy Now we know with what [NARRATOR] Our initial assessment may have been premature. [OUTRO — NARRATOR] After several hours, a pattern has emerged. What resembled distraction may, in fact, be his method. Each abandoned task somehow provided something needed by another. Whether intentional remains impossible to determine. The fan works. The charger is repaired. The floor is partially swept. And the missing remote has been recovered. The human now appears to be cleaning his workspace. ... No. He has found a speaker. [VOICE, DISTANT] Okay, but hear me out— [NARRATOR] And the cycle begins again.