LULA IS DELULU [INTRO: Bedroom ambience. TV murmurs. No music.] [Lula practicing in mirror] AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! [DEAD SILENCE] ...Okay. That one was good. [VIOLENT BASS DROP: distorted 808s, glitch, fairy synths] DIS IS LULA SCREAMING ON DA TRACK!!!!!!! [Lula laughs manically] At least here no one can hold me back God, why does my mind feel under attack? And where’s my FUCKING CAT!!!! [1930s FEMALE CHOIR enters softly behind modern beat] [Choir] Snooze is on the bed... There goes her head... Text getting misread... When’s the delusion gonna end...? [Lula, furious] DELUSION!!!!!????? [BRASS STAB] There’s none of that! CONFUSION!!!!!!!! That’s where my mind is always at!!! [Upright bass creeps beneath 808s] Is this real? What is fake? Did I make someone upset again With the words I spoke...? Is friendship a dead end? Was that a joke? Was that a sign? Did I fuck it up? Or am I fine? Wait— What did they mean by that? No, seriously. WHAT THE FUCK DID THEY MEAN BY THAT????? [Choir, cheerful close harmony] She’ll read it once! She’ll read it twice! She’ll read it seventeen times tonight! [Lula] SHUT UP!!!!! [TRUMPET BLAST] What is real? What is fake? Lula is gonna break Puncture a hole in my mind with a stake Yeah, I’m fucking crazy Asking for a lobotomy!!!!!!!!!! LOBOTOMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [MODERN BEAT WARPS INTO 1930s SWING: upright bass, piano, brushed drums, brass, clarinet] [Choir, sugary harmony] She’s out of her mind All the fucking time Oh, poor sweet Lula She’s delulu DELULU! [Lula] NO, SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Choir] Delulu~ [Lula] I SAID SHUT UP!!!!! [Choir] Delulu~ [Lula] BITCH!!!!! [CLARINET RUN] Is this real? Is this fake? How much can I— How much can Lula take??? [Lula wails] Is she gonna fucking break???? HELP!!!!!! [EVERYTHING STOPS] [Silence. Faint TV static.] [Lula, breathless] ...the fuck? [VINYL CRACKLE. Distant 1930s jazz plays from TV.] Was that playing this whole time? [Choir, distant through TV] La-la-la... Poor little Lula... What ever shall she do? [Lula] Oh, fuck y’all. [Choir] She screams! She cries! She changes clothes a hundred times! [Lula] I DO NOT— [Choir] She thinks! She spins! Then thinks the whole damn thing again! [Lula] Okay... That one was kinda accurate. [Playful clarinet] [Lula approaches TV] Wait... Her dress is cute. [Choir] Ooooooh~ [Lula] No. Don't "oooooh" me. [Choir] Try it on! Try it on! Try it on, Miss Lula! [Lula] ...I would look better in it. [BIG-BAND HIT] [FULL 1930s TAKEOVER: modern production disappears] Hold on— Where did my mirror go? [Choir] Lula is delulu! Sweet little Lula! Reality’s getting peculiar! [Lula] My ROOM was not black and white five fucking seconds ago!!!!! [Choir] Is it real? Is it fake? How much can our Lula take? [Lula] WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT— [SWING ACCELERATES: chaotic brass, clarinet, tap percussion, fairy bells, TV static] [Choir, huge finale] LULA IS DELULU! LULA IS DELULU! LULA IS DELULU! [Lula, laughing and screaming] FUCK IT!!!! IF I’M DELULU— I’M GONNA LOOK CUTE DOING IT!!!!! [GIANT ORCHESTRAL HIT] [TV STATIC] [CLICK] [COMPLETE 1930s MONO RADIO SOUND] [Vintage announcer] Ladies and gentlemen... boys, girls, fairies and everything in between... Our regularly scheduled programming has been interrupted. [Choir, softly] Ooooooh, Lula... [Vintage announcer] Please remain seated. The show is about to begin. [Lula, distant] Wait... WHAT SHOW????? [GRAND ORCHESTRA SWELL] [Choir, lush harmony] Welcome... to... LULAVISION! [CRT TONE] [CLICK. SILENCE.]
