I tripped into the dungeon with my helmet on backwards, My torch went fwip and set a goblin’s trousers aflappers. A trapdoor tried to open but it jammed and burped instead, Then a skeleton sneezed so hard it popped off its own head. Oh tumble, fumble, stumble through the Dungeon of the Mad Mage, Where every step’s a pratfall and the walls are all the rage. Your pants might catch on fire, your sword might disengage— It’s a slapstick jamboree inside the Dungeon of the Mad Mage. A mimic tried to scare me but it slipped upon a slime, Then ricocheted off seven walls in record dungeon time. A troll came charging at me with a roar both fierce and grim— But tripped upon the mimic and the mimic tripped on him. Oh tumble, fumble, stumble through the Dungeon of the Mad Mage, Where chaos does the can‑can on a poorly lit stage. Your boots will squeal like bagpipes, your shield will act its age— It’s a slapstick jamboree inside the Dungeon of the Mad Mage. A banshee tried to haunt me with a wail of dread and doom, But inhaled a cloud of dust and wheezed like a kazoo. A gelatinous cube tried to engulf me in its goo— But bounced off a rubber floor and swallowed a passing shoe. Oh the traps all misfire sideways, And the spells go bang then poof. A fireball hit a ceiling beam And set alight the roof. Halaster’s laughing somewhere, Probably juggling frogs— While we’re sprinting from a beholder Who’s slipping on stray logs. So tumble, fumble, stumble through the Dungeon of the Mad Mage, Where every fight’s a circus and the monsters disengage. Your dignity will vanish, your party will upstage— But you’ll come back for more mayhem In the Dungeon of the Mad Mage.
