[Intro – siren, claxon, drum fill into frantic riff] Warning lights and coffee spilled, The beast awoke — it’s press or be killed! [Verse 1 – fast-paced, staccato guitars, punky energy] Paper jam, it’s Code Red time, Toner burst like wartime slime. Roller spins with demon speed, Boss is screaming, “Clear the feed!” [Pre-Chorus – gang vocals, chaos builds] Grab the wrench! Hit the switch! Pull the plug — it’s gonna twitch! [Chorus – full-blast singalong] Panic in the printroom! Chaos in the tray! Letters flying like missiles — It's typeface judgement day! Panic in the printroom! Azubis on the run! The offset beast is hungry — And the madness has begun! [Verse 2 – call & response vocals, slapstick energy] “Did you grease the gear again?” “No, I thought that was your pen!” “Why’s it printing upside down?” “Just feed it toner… or we drown!” [Pre-Chorus – repeat with extra gang shouts] Stop the noise! Save the stock! Someone get that flying block! [Chorus – repeat with wild harmonies] Panic in the printroom! Chaos in the tray! Letters flying like missiles — It's typeface judgement day! Panic in the printroom! No time left to think — We’ll barricade with reams of A4 — And drown this beast in ink! [Bridge – tempo break, spoken like war report] Day three: morale is low. The stapler rebelled. We’re losing toner. Paper cuts... everywhere. [Final Chorus – triumphant, still ridiculous] Panic in the printroom! Laugh or you will scream! Print is war and war is art — And this is our regime! [Outro – manic laugh, fade-out with printer noise.]
