It was a Friday night, and life was bleeding me, looking at the same old ceiling as I lay alone with no feelings. I thought I was healing once we were over. I went out to a different place where people didn't know my face, and I could leave the space I was sitting in, maybe start to feel again. But nothing seemed to be working, so I carried on drinking until the smile on my face almost felt real. I went back to someone's place as the night was still young, starting to have what felt like fun. We started talking; we smiled and laughed for hours. Just my luck, you were already taken. A year went by, and we were back at the place. You were there, and you grabbed my hand. We danced all night to our favorite bands, and for once, I felt happy. We intertwined, your body with mine. I felt safe with you. You took me home; I let down my guard. My heart had been dead for so long, yet somehow I felt I'd known you for a lifetime, like we were lovers in another life, and when we kissed, it just felt right. Yet somehow, I still froze up when we awoke. As you turned to me and smiled, I went cold, I was afraid to let you know what was on my mind. I wish I had said how I felt and pulled you close, but now it's too late to let you know. I wish I'd grabbed your T-shirt and pulled you closer when you leant over, pretending to find your keys. I knew you wanted me to, but I just froze. My emotions got the better of me; I was afraid to let go, didn't want to get hurt again. How was I to know? Now you're gone, you've moved on. I'm still here alone. I replay that night all the time, and I wish I'd had the strength to hold on. To pull you closer, pull you closer to me. Being with you felt right, felt right. Playing it over and over. Why didn't I? Why didn't I pull you closer?
