[Intro spoken] God, I am not here to impress You, I am here to empty the gun in my chest, twenty six years jammed in the chamber and I am sick of guessing what lesson is next, You saw every bruise, every threat, every time I learned fear instead of love, so now you are going to listen. [Verse 1 fast rap] I came in innocent, tiny, clueless, heart like a blank white wall, she was supposed to be the painter, she carved her rage in it with a crawl, you watched a mother aim her temper like a weapon at her son in a house that never felt like home, you saw bottles, shouting, slammed doors, wild eyes, spit in my face when I tried to speak alone, you let her crush my worth so early I thought being hated meant I was weak, you let her vanish when I needed her most, sixteen, abandoned, cold street air on my cheek, no warning, no mercy, just a kid with his whole life torn in half right there, you watched the emptiness twist my logic till every new voice felt like a snare, how I gravitated to the wrong hands, wrong crowds, wrong offers that would wreck, you saw me soaking up poison from people who only loved what they could check, and your silence felt like proof the universe picked me as the one to lose, I walked roads that led to rooms with bars and labels that I did not choose, you know exactly what I mean, you saw the whispers, the points, the shame, you let me drown in judgement for choices that grew from soil you framed, every path I took was broken, but you let them call it all my fault, still I kept breathing, grinding my teeth, my thoughts on fire and my nerves in a vault, days where suicide felt like a quiet friend knocking at the door, but I stayed, out of spite, out of anger, out of some stubborn faith that if you were real then you were seeing all of this and keeping count of the weight. [Pre Chorus 1] So tell me, was this design or negligence, a test or an accident, because I survived it all somehow and I am not afraid to say this now. [Chorus] I am still here, God, do you hear that, a heartbeat you did not deserve but you kept anyway, I survived storms you let rip through my childhood and I am still on my feet at the end of the day, I crawled out of every hell you watched happen, I stitched myself back when no one else could, so if there is purpose in the ruin you allowed, do not waste me, do not waste what I withstood. [Verse 2 controlled collapse] You let her do it and that is the blunt truth lodged like glass inside my tongue, she was meant to be my shield and you watched her become the gun, every insult, every threat, every time she chose some man or comfort over her own blood, you stood back while she broke me down and then wondered why I slipped into the mud, you saw my Nan trying to hold up the sky with shaking arms, picking up a boy already wired for alarms, she fed me when others starved me, patched me when others carved me, you left the lifting to the only soul who truly loved me, you watched her health buckle under weight that was never hers to own, carrying a grandson and the ghost of all the damage you condoned, and me, I staggered through rage, shame, bad decisions like a storm inside skin, taking hits, taking blame, trying not to fold while the world screamed my sin, you saw me in cells, in dark rooms, in nights where I begged for a reset, you heard every prayer that started with I am sorry and ended with not yet, you let the world brand me a monster before I even knew who I was, you watched them turn me to a headline without caring about the cause, but even then some spark refused to die, a tiny scream inside my chest saying there has to be more than this, I refuse to go out like the rest, so I fought, I learned, I owned my part, I got back up, I tried to change, I cut out cancers, burned fake friends, rearranged my whole brain, I chose responsibility when it would have been easier to disappear, I chose my Nan, chose my future, chose to stay and face the mirror, and if you saw all of that, every step, every slip, every time I almost broke, then you know I am not your average broken toy, I am the answer to your joke. [Pre Chorus 2] If you forged me in this furnace, fine, I am done asking why the flames were bright, but if you kept me breathing through all of it, then use me now or lose the right. [Chorus 2] I am still here, that has to mean something, more than a punchline in some cosmic play, I am the proof that a kid you let suffer can still rise and refuse to decay, I am asking for purpose, not pity, for direction, not a choir song, I survived everything you let happen, do not waste me by leaving me wrong. [Outro spoken] So this is it, lungs turned into confession, scars turned into evidence, you saw the mother who broke me, you saw the Nan who saved what you did not, you saw the boy, the inmate, the wreck, the man, and I am still standing here, ready for whatever reason you kept me alive for, or ready to walk my own way and let you watch from a distance like you always did.
