CHAIN ME UP!

They told me love was gentle… They told me love was kind… They lied. I was a free man, roaming the land, A lone wolf shreddin’ with a six-string in my hand! Then you walked in with them eyes of doom, And BOOM—my heart went kaboom kaboom. You smiled like an angel, but evil inside, Like a cupcake filled with cyanide! And suddenly baby, I couldn’t breathe, ‘Cause your love wrapped chains around my knees! I tried to run— I tried to fight— But you grabbed my soul like a coupon on a Friday night! CHAINSSSS OF LOOOOVE! You got me rattlin’ in your dungeon of hugs! CHAINSSSS OF LOOOOVE! I’m a prisoner, baby— and I LIKE those cuffs! CHAIN ME UP! BREAK ME DOWN! Your love’s a steel chair and I’m goin’ to the ground! I tried meditation, I tried therapy, I tried to cleanse my aura with a celery! I called my priest, he said “son, you’re doomed,” ‘Cause that woman’s kiss is a full-body tomb! You got a laugh like a villain in a Disney flick, And a hips-to-waist ratio that’s mathematically SICK! I’m talkin’ calculus, I’m talkin’ fate— Your booty’s got a gravitational weight! And every time I swear I’m leavin’ town… You whisper “come here”… and I FALL DOWN. CHAINSSSS OF LOOOOVE! You got me crawlin’ like a goblin for your touch! CHAINSSSS OF LOOOOVE! I’m a warrior, baby— but I’m weak for that smirk so much! CHAIN ME UP! BREAK ME DOWN! Your love’s a steel chair and I’m goin’ to the ground! Listen… I’ve fought dragons. I’ve fought demons. I once fought a guy named Craig in a Taco Bell parking lot… But I have NEVER fought… a love like THIS. Chain me up! You got the key? I DON’T WANT OUT! Chain me up! Your love is illegal… AND I PLEAD GUILTY! CHAINSSSS OF LOOOOVE! I’m locked in your vibe and I can’t escape! CHAINSSSS OF LOOOOVE! You tied up my heart with a diamond tape! CHAIN ME UP! BREAK ME DOWN! I’ll scream your name till the roof comes down! CHAINSSSS OF LOOOOVE! I’m your hostage… and baby… I’M PROUD!