Mr. President (Zaphod Beeblebrox)

80s Glam Metal, Power Ballad, Arena Rock

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[Interruption: Arrogant Shout] Shut up, computer! I’m trying to make an entrance! Hit it!

[Verse 1] 
Stole the Heart of Gold at the launching show, baby,  so zero to infinite improbability here I go! 
They said "President, cut the ribbon, please" And I said "Freeze, I’m just gonna take the keys to all the  galaxies" 
Why settle for just the speed of light, this ivory and gold improbable delight is everywhere and nowhere at once… …right?
Improbability level? One to One Million Seven Hundred Eighty-Six Thousand Two Hundred and Twelve to the Something or other point Thirty one, I do the math just to have some fun…

[Spoken Interruption]
Look, I’m Zaphod Beeblebrox.
I'm up to here with cool, okay? 
I am so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month. 
I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis.

[Chorus] 
Two heads thinking, three arms to steer
(Zaphod's here, yeah Zaphod's here) 
The Heart of Gold, stolen I’ve kidnapped myself 
Best looking presidential picture up on the Shelf
Yeah, I’m the main event, the holy grail 
Riding the curve on a logic fail 
Beeblebrox! Yeah, That’s me!
Zaphod Beeblebrox! Who else could it be?

[Verse 2] 
Now I got a few problems clogging my style 
Got an Earthman looking confused in the aisle 
Got a cousin named Ford trying to bum a drink 
And a paranoid robot pushing me to the brink

[Spoken, Digital male Depressed] *Life, Don’t talk to me about life!*
 
Trillian’s cool, but she complains and explains too much 
About physics, reason, and logic and too much "do not touch" 
I’m trying to fly. To Magrethea I’m trying to cruise! 
Look, I don’t have the time for your monkey-man blues!

[Pre-Chorus] 
Turn on the drive, let the reality shift, I’m the ultimate present, I’m the galaxy’s gift
Accidentally saving people while they’re mid space-death drift. 
Galactic Sector Zed Zed 9 Plural Zed Alpha? Doesn’t ring a bell.
But me, well I’m Zaphod, you know I’m just awesome, yeah, I’m just swell!

[Bridge] 
[Breakdown: Minimal Bass Groove] 
[Spoken: Dry Serious Tone] 
Look, I don't need to check the math on my personality, I’m a high-speed collision of charm and irrationality. I’ve got a double-headed grip on the throat of reality, Surfin’ the shockwaves of my own originality.
I’m a Zarkin Frood with a penchant for theatricality, Serving up a dose of my own multimodality. I don't follow rules, I just bypass temporality, With a double-brained perspective on cosmic totality.
It’s a total Beeblebrox-centric type of mentality, Shaking up the stars with a reckless vocalality. I didn’t mean to sound this good—it’s just a fatality, Of being the greatest frood in this or any principality.
One Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster for the technicality, It’s a lemon-wrapped brick to your sense of normality. I didn’t mean to rhyme, it’s just a physicality, Of being a galactic king with zero neutrality.

[Stop] If there's anything more important than my ego on this ship, I want it caught and shot right now, Yeah. [Orchestral Hit]

[Guitar Solo] [High Energy Shredding]

[Outro] 
Yeah! Shoot it! Pow! 
Just me, baby. 
Just Zaphod. Infinite probability... 
of me being amazing. 
[Fade out with manic laughter] 
[End]

3914/7500

[Intro: Chipper and Cheerful Robotic Spoken Word] Improbability Drive… Disengaging! Current Normality Ratio One to Ten Million, three hundred and eighty-seven thousand three hundred and forty-six to the fifth power. And Dropping One to Forty-Two to the third power… and I’m Pleased to Say we’re restoring to a nice, sensible One to One! Probability of Zaphod’s ego containment: Zero. [Interruption: Arrogant Shout] Shut up, computer! I’m trying to make an entrance! Hit it! [Verse 1] Stole the Heart of Gold at the launching show, baby, so zero to infinite improbability here I go! They said "President, cut the ribbon, please" And I said "Freeze, I’m just gonna take the keys to all the galaxies" Why settle for just the speed of light, this ivory and gold improbable delight is everywhere and nowhere at once… …right? Improbability level? One to One Million Seven Hundred Eighty-Six Thousand Two Hundred and Twelve to the Something or other point Thirty one, I do the math just to have some fun… [Spoken Interruption] Look, I’m Zaphod Beeblebrox. I'm up to here with cool, okay? I am so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month. I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis. [Chorus] Two heads thinking, three arms to steer (Zaphod's here, yeah Zaphod's here) The Heart of Gold, stolen I’ve kidnapped myself Best looking presidential picture up on the Shelf Yeah, I’m the main event, the holy grail Riding the curve on a logic fail Beeblebrox! Yeah, That’s me! Zaphod Beeblebrox! Who else could it be? [Verse 2] Now I got a few problems clogging my style Got an Earthman looking confused in the aisle Got a cousin named Ford trying to bum a drink And a paranoid robot pushing me to the brink [Spoken, Digital male Depressed] *Life, Don’t talk to me about life!* Trillian’s cool, but she complains and explains too much About physics, reason, and logic and too much "do not touch" I’m trying to fly. To Magrethea I’m trying to cruise! Look, I don’t have the time for your monkey-man blues! [Pre-Chorus] Turn on the drive, let the reality shift, I’m the ultimate present, I’m the galaxy’s gift Accidentally saving people while they’re mid space-death drift. Galactic Sector Zed Zed 9 Plural Zed Alpha? Doesn’t ring a bell. But me, well I’m Zaphod, you know I’m just awesome, yeah, I’m just swell! [Chorus] Two heads thinking, three arms to steer (Zaphod's here, yeah Zaphod's here) The Heart of Gold, stolen I’ve kidnapped myself Best looking presidential picture up on the Shelf Yeah, I’m the main event, the holy grail Riding the curve on a logic fail Beeblebrox! Yeah, That’s me! Zaphod Beeblebrox! Who else could it be? [Bridge] [Breakdown: Minimal Bass Groove] [Spoken: Dry Serious Tone] Look, I don't need to check the math on my personality, I’m a high-speed collision of charm and irrationality. I’ve got a double-headed grip on the throat of reality, Surfin’ the shockwaves of my own originality. I’m a Zarkin Frood with a penchant for theatricality, Serving up a dose of my own multimodality. I don't follow rules, I just bypass temporality, With a double-brained perspective on cosmic totality. It’s a total Beeblebrox-centric type of mentality, Shaking up the stars with a reckless vocalality. I didn’t mean to sound this good—it’s just a fatality, Of being the greatest frood in this or any principality. One Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster for the technicality, It’s a lemon-wrapped brick to your sense of normality. I didn’t mean to rhyme, it’s just a physicality, Of being a galactic king with zero neutrality. [Stop] If there's anything more important than my ego on this ship, I want it caught and shot right now, Yeah. [Orchestral Hit] [Guitar Solo] [High Energy Shredding] [Outro] Yeah! Shoot it! Pow! Just me, baby. Just Zaphod. Infinite probability... of me being amazing. [Fade out with manic laughter] [End]

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