For Christmas I Want to Get Drunk (Remastered)

*sleigh bells* *intro, spoken conversation* “Hey Jimi! You ready for Christmas this year?” “Hell yeah Bacon! I’m lookin forward to doin’ some dumb redneck Christmas shit with the boys!” “Hell yeah man bring me some of that shiner cheer and tell me what you want for Christmas this year!” “Alright let me tell ya…” What do I want for Christmas? I wanna get drunk! I’m gonna get shitfaced plastered pissed slumped and skunked Oh if you see me out on the street makin’ yellow snow with my pee You’ll know for sure that for Christmas I got drunk! Oh Santa can bring me a guitar, and I’ll play all night But there’s a bottle of Jack I want that’s gonna make things right I can’t sing Christmas carols, without a little happy juice So on my Christmas list I’m gonna ask Santa for some booze I hope that on Christmas morning, when I wake up with glee That I’m ain’t too hungover from the stupid shit I’ll do on Christmas Eve I hope in my stocking, there’s a great big ass haul Of beer and shots and scotch and burbon cause I’ll need some hair of the dog! What do I want for Christmas? I wanna get drunk! I’m gonna get shitfaced plastered pissed slumped and skunked Oh if you see me out on the street makin’ yellow snow with my pee You’ll know for sure that for Christmas I got drunk! *guitar solo* “That’s a pretty good Christmas list Jimi!” “Thanks Bacon! What do you want for Christmas?” “Oh dude we’re in the same boat! Let me tell ya now!” Don’t take me to a Christmas lights display, unless you got some beer for me Cause I won’t feel that Christmas cheer if I ain’t gettin tipsy I’ll walk around the mall, sit on Santa’s lap I’ll ask him for some Jim Bean and a twenty four pack Now I know it might sound crazy, but here’s what I’m gonna do Santa could use a break so I’m gonna leave him out some brews I hope that he’s so grateful, that he brings me the good stuff And then you and me are gonna ring sleigh bells while we get fucked up! “Hey good idea!” *instrumental section* “OKAY LOOKS LIKE EVERYBODY IN THE BAND IS FUCKIN’ DRUNK! WHO WANTS TO DO A SOLO?” “DUUUUUUUUHHH I’LL DO IT!” “ALRIGHT MAN PLAY THAT THANG!” *fiddle solo* “MY TURN!” *guitar solo* “ME NEXT!” *steel guitar solo* “HEY QUIT HOGGIN THE SPOTLIGHT AND LISTEN TO THIS SHIT!” *piano solo* “YOU GUYS FUCKIN’ SUCK I’M TAKIN’ OVER” *banjo solo* “OH YOU WANNA GO LETS DANCE TOUGH GUY!” *intense fiddle solo* “YEAH I DO FART FUCKER LETS GO!” *intense banjo solo* *fiddle and banjo solos* “WE’RE ALL HAMMERED BEST FUCKIN CHRISTMAS EVER!” Yeaaaah! Oh, what do we want for Christmas? We wanna get drunk! We’re gonna get shitfaced plastered pissed slumped and skunked Oh if you see us out on the street makin’ yellow snow with our pee You’ll know for sure that for Christmas we got drunk! Oh, what do we want for Christmas? We wanna get drunk! We’re gonna get shitfaced plastered pissed slumped and skunked Oh if you see us out on the street makin’ yellow snow with our pee You’ll know for sure that for Christmas we got drunk! Feelin’ it now! ONE MORE TIME GO! Oh, what do we want for Christmas? We wanna get drunk! We’re gonna get shitfaced plastered pissed slumped and skunked Oh if you see us out on the street makin’ yellow snow with our pee You’ll know for sure that for Christmas we got drunk! We’re gonna get shitfaced plastered pissed slumped and skuuuuuuunked…. Oh lord for Christmas ol Bacon and Jimi…are gonna get so…damn…fucking…DRUUUUUUUUUUNK! “I farted!” “That was a beer fart!” “Heh, nice one dude. Merry Christmas you drunk ass!” *steel guitar outro* “Dammit Santa’s reindeer just shit on the roof and drank my beer!” “AND SANTA FUCKING TOOK A SHIT DOWN THE CHIMNEY AND THREW UP ALL OVER THE PLACE!” “BEST FUCKIN’ CHRISTMAS EVER!”