[silly introduction music] things were going bad so bad in my life I was broke I was homeless I was in awful shape well I could do the sensible thing I could look in the mirror I could ask myself what what i could do to improve but that would be too hard to be accountable for myself so I decided to blame someone else I would blame someone else for everything wrong in my life Donald Trump gave me a hangnail he's responsible for my balding head he somehow bounced my checkbook he even got me evicted from my apartment and planted the meth he planted the meth the cops found I have no shame in using T D S as a scapegoat for every mistake I've made in life everything is his fault its too hard to be accountable for myself so I decided to blame someone else I would blame someone else for everything wrong in my life Donald Trump stubbed my toe he made me kiss my Aunt Flo he made me late for work he caused my reckless driving last night! he made me lose my job he caused my wife to leave he even chased my cat up a tree I take no responsibility for anything nothing is my fault no personal responsibility for all I've done wrong in my life its easier to blame Donald Trump its so much easier to blame Donald Trump [musical interlude] I may have actually done it! you may have me on video or a recording or seen me do it with your own eyes your eyes lie it was the fault of Donald Trump orange man bad look what he just made me do now! [epic ending]
