[Verse 1] She walked through the door with that look in her eye, I knew right then something caught her eye. She showed me a horse, said it’s one heck of a deal, And somehow buying it would save us for real. I looked at the numbers, they didn’t add up, But she had an answer before I spoke up. “Honey, two horses will save money,” she said— And I’m still doing that math in my head. [Chorus] “It’s not that expensive,” I’ve heard that before, Usually right before we spend a little more. If it’s on sale, apparently we made some cash, Welcome to a horse girl and her math. New tack? Well, she needed that. Free shipping? Somehow that’s money back. I learned a long time ago, I ain’t winning that match Against a horse girl and her math. [Verse 2] A new saddle pad ’cause the old one won’t match, New boots half-price, so you can’t beat that. Entry fees are memories money can’t buy, And another bag of treats? I don’t even ask why. She says another hobby could cost us more, Then another box shows up at the door. I used to keep receipts, now I just laugh— There ain’t no calculator for horse-girl math. [Bridge – Country Rock Build] One horse needs another, More tack needs more space. More hay in the barn, More miles on the Chevrolet. But when I watch her riding With that smile on her face, I gotta admit every dollar Feels pretty well placed. [Final Chorus – BIG] “Honey, two horses will save money,” Yeah, I’ve heard that one, and it still sounds funny. “It’s not that expensive,” means hold on tight, There’s probably something getting bought tonight. Twenty percent off? We’re making cash! At least that’s how she explains the math. My wallet screams “WHOA!” while I just sit back— ’Cause no man ever beat A HORSE GIRL AND HER MATH! [Outro] I quit asking what it costs… Now I just ask when we’re picking it up. Yeah… I finally learned the math.
