[Intro: music box and calliope, whisper, one soft whoop far away] Mommy said we had a guest… (whoop… whoop…) Yeah. I'm grown now. I get it now. [Hook: bratty chant, gang vocals in parentheses] I got an EXTRA DADDY (WHOOP!) And Daddy didn't know (WHOOP!) Till I made two cards for Father's Day And gave the wrong one, so… OOPS. (sniffle) OOPS. (sniffle) Two daddies holding hands with Ma WHOOP WHOOP UH-OH [Call and response] "WHOSE DAD?" "MY DAD!" "WHICH ONE?" "…UM." "WHO WAS THAT?" "THE HELPER!" "HELPING WHAT?" "THE MATTRESS, BITCH." [Verse 1: fast brat cadence, looking back] He wore cologne and flannel vests Brought me gum, he wasn't the best "Not your dad, but kinda is" Hugged my mom and called her "dear" And when they took their naps upstairs The bed made sounds like folding chairs I asked if they were praying, Mommy said "kinda, babe" Thump thump thump, that's how the grown-ups pray (Twenty-two and I just got it. That was NOT a prayer.) [Pre-hook: beat cuts out on the last line] Mommy said don't tell (I didn't!) Daddy's working late (I know!) So little me drew it in a card instead 'Cause drawing isn't telling. Right? …Right? [Hook: doubled, whoops added] I got an EXTRA DADDY (WHOOP!) And Daddy didn't know (WHOOP!) Till I made two cards for Father's Day And gave the wrong one, so… OOPS. (sniffle) OOPS. (sniffle) Two daddies holding hands with Ma WHOOP WHOOP UH-OH [Verse 2: the one-book apostle, she can say it now] Extra Daddy read a book, ONE book, now he's real wise "Your mom was healing, hon" and "boundaries" and "no more lies" Got saved in Mommy's room, like Paul reborn Now he's got a podcast sellin' holy ghost porn (gang: HOLY GHOST PORN, WHOOP WHOOP) Says the thumping was the Spirit moving through the floor Fuck outta here… but bring me candy from the corner store [Bridge: piano ballad, soft drums, no beat, sincere] I made two cards, one for each Same crayons, same stick-figure beach One said "Daddy, you're my guy" One had three of us, and a heart, and a sky I put them in the wrong envelopes Daddy opened his and didn't say a word He just looked at the two daddies holding hands with Ma Then he went upstairs to take a nap But quiet. (no thump) (no thump) [Bass drop: beat slams back] OOPS. [Final hook: crowd version] I got an EXTRA DADDY (WHOOP!) And now they both know (WHOOP!) Daddy got a lawyer and Mommy got a show OOPS. OOPS. Two daddies holding hands with Ma They both text me on my birthday. Which one do I call? WHOOP WHOOP …UM. [Outro: music box alone, whisper] Oops.
