The Balloons, the Bear, and the Bandits by Hollow Root Records

Kyle grabbed a balloon with a bugbear grin,
Claws popped the skin and the gas rolled in.
Down he fell like a felled old tree,
Snoring loud in the grass by the campfire’s heat.

Oh the road is long and the world is wild,
Where fools and heroes walk side by side.
With bombs and bells and a drunken plan,
Those Misfits laugh in the face of death’s hand.
From poison pies to a roaring bear,
To bandits dying in roadside prayer.
Sing loud of the day when chaos began:
The Balloons, the Bear, and the Bandits.

Vivika squints at the cursed baked crust,
Kojak’s eyes red through a haze of dust.
Legion wakes and tries to rouse Kyle’s head,
But bugbear dreams lie heavy instead.

Brannik kneels with his herbs and kit,
Sniffs the filling and studies it.
“Midnight Tears,” the alchemist said low,
“Eat this pie and the moon seals your woe.”

Legion’s spell makes the magic gleam,
Some circus trick in a twisted scheme.
Vivika’s axe split crust and meat,
Pie flew screaming through flame and heat.

From the fire came music thin,
Broken circus laughter within.

Brannik piled the balloons in a pile of dread,
Set a bomb beneath their floating heads.
Orange skins burst in a cloud of sleep,
Dropping the camp in a magical heap.

Only three stood through the drifting haze,
Brannik, Kojak, Haas in a daze.
Twenty minutes and the spell was gone,
Those Misfits woke with the rising dawn.

Into the fire the pie returned,
And this time the hidden message burned:
Circus music and clowns unseen,
“Kill our kin and we’ll settle the scene.”

Down the road where the Archwoods rise,
Met Brom Dustone with worry in his eyes.
Broken wagon and produce dying,
Bandits near and his horse gone flying.

Kojak carved frost in a merchant’s cart,
Keeping the rot from the farmer’s heart.
Wolfenstein sniffed the forest floor,
Led the trail to a shadowed door.

Out of the cave with a thunderous breath,
Came a cave bear big as death.

Vivika tried with a calming plea,
But peace ain’t made with a beast that free.
She rang the bell and the war cry came…

“HAAS IS AWAKE, AWARE, AND FOCUSED ON A BEAR!”

Oh the road is long and the world is wild,
Where fools and heroes walk side by side.
With bombs and bells and a drunken plan,
Those Misfits laugh in the face of death’s hand.
Steel and claws in the forest air,
Blood on the stones of the bear’s dark lair.
Sing loud of the day when chaos began:
The Balloons, the Bear, and the Bandits.

Axes swinging and arrows fly,
Brannik’s bombs split earth and sky.
The beast fell hard in a thunderous crash,
Legion’s magic closed Haas’ gash.

In the cave where the bones lay pale,
They found Brom’s horse in a skeletal tale.
Back to the wagon the news was grim,
Kyle the bugbear now pulls for him.

But the road had one more fight to give,
Five bandits stepped from the weeds to live.
“Coin or blood,” their leader cried,
Those Misfits answered steel for pride.

Kojak’s arrows sang through air,
Legion’s light kept wounds from despair.
Vivika turned with a thunderous clap,
Twerking doom in a shockwave slap.

Brannik’s poison burned their breath,
Haas threw hatchets screaming death.
One poor bastard split clean in two,
The rest soon followed where shadows grew.

Oh the road is long and the world is wild,
Where fools and heroes walk side by side.
With bombs and bells and a drunken plan,
Those Misfits laugh in the face of death’s hand.
From circus tricks to a roadside war,
To the Archwoods waiting evermore.
Raise your mug for the tale we sing:

Of the Balloons, the Bear, and the Bandits.

4080/7500

Morning broke in a crooked way, Ash in the fire from the night before day. Orange balloons in the forest air, Drifting silent through the cold dawn glare. A pie on a table, a dagger inside, Something in the clearing just didn’t feel right. Kyle grabbed a balloon with a bugbear grin, Claws popped the skin and the gas rolled in. Down he fell like a felled old tree, Snoring loud in the grass by the campfire’s heat. Oh the road is long and the world is wild, Where fools and heroes walk side by side. With bombs and bells and a drunken plan, Those Misfits laugh in the face of death’s hand. From poison pies to a roaring bear, To bandits dying in roadside prayer. Sing loud of the day when chaos began: The Balloons, the Bear, and the Bandits. Vivika squints at the cursed baked crust, Kojak’s eyes red through a haze of dust. Legion wakes and tries to rouse Kyle’s head, But bugbear dreams lie heavy instead. Brannik kneels with his herbs and kit, Sniffs the filling and studies it. “Midnight Tears,” the alchemist said low, “Eat this pie and the moon seals your woe.” Legion’s spell makes the magic gleam, Some circus trick in a twisted scheme. Vivika’s axe split crust and meat, Pie flew screaming through flame and heat. From the fire came music thin, Broken circus laughter within. Oh the road is long and the world is wild, Where fools and heroes walk side by side. With bombs and bells and a drunken plan, Those Misfits laugh in the face of death’s hand. From poison pies to a roaring bear, To bandits dying in roadside prayer. Sing loud of the day when chaos began: The Balloons, the Bear, and the Bandits. Brannik piled the balloons in a pile of dread, Set a bomb beneath their floating heads. Orange skins burst in a cloud of sleep, Dropping the camp in a magical heap. Only three stood through the drifting haze, Brannik, Kojak, Haas in a daze. Twenty minutes and the spell was gone, Those Misfits woke with the rising dawn. Into the fire the pie returned, And this time the hidden message burned: Circus music and clowns unseen, “Kill our kin and we’ll settle the scene.” Down the road where the Archwoods rise, Met Brom Dustone with worry in his eyes. Broken wagon and produce dying, Bandits near and his horse gone flying. Kojak carved frost in a merchant’s cart, Keeping the rot from the farmer’s heart. Wolfenstein sniffed the forest floor, Led the trail to a shadowed door. Out of the cave with a thunderous breath, Came a cave bear big as death. Vivika tried with a calming plea, But peace ain’t made with a beast that free. She rang the bell and the war cry came… “HAAS IS AWAKE, AWARE, AND FOCUSED ON A BEAR!” Oh the road is long and the world is wild, Where fools and heroes walk side by side. With bombs and bells and a drunken plan, Those Misfits laugh in the face of death’s hand. Steel and claws in the forest air, Blood on the stones of the bear’s dark lair. Sing loud of the day when chaos began: The Balloons, the Bear, and the Bandits. Axes swinging and arrows fly, Brannik’s bombs split earth and sky. The beast fell hard in a thunderous crash, Legion’s magic closed Haas’ gash. In the cave where the bones lay pale, They found Brom’s horse in a skeletal tale. Back to the wagon the news was grim, Kyle the bugbear now pulls for him. But the road had one more fight to give, Five bandits stepped from the weeds to live. “Coin or blood,” their leader cried, Those Misfits answered steel for pride. Kojak’s arrows sang through air, Legion’s light kept wounds from despair. Vivika turned with a thunderous clap, Twerking doom in a shockwave slap. Brannik’s poison burned their breath, Haas threw hatchets screaming death. One poor bastard split clean in two, The rest soon followed where shadows grew. Oh the road is long and the world is wild, Where fools and heroes walk side by side. With bombs and bells and a drunken plan, Those Misfits laugh in the face of death’s hand. From circus tricks to a roadside war, To the Archwoods waiting evermore. Raise your mug for the tale we sing: Of the Balloons, the Bear, and the Bandits.

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