
Worst date of my Afterlife
[Verse— Theatrical Male Vocal] She looked at my mask and called it beautiful, Saw all the cracks and called them wonderful. I told her, “I'm a monster.” She said, “I know.” I told her, “I ruin everything I touch.” She said, “That's adorable.” ... I don't think she understands the assignment. [Pre-Chorus] I said I'm dangerous—She smiled. I said I'm broken—She smiled. I said I hear the dead whisper— She said, “That's hot.” What is wrong with people? [Chorus — Powerful Male Vocal] I'M THE WORST MAN YOU COULD EVER MEET! I'VE GOT A GRAVEYARD UNDERNEATH MY FEET! I'LL MAKE YOU FEEL EVERYTHING YOU'VE EVER HIDDEN! WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE I'VE BEEN FORGIVEN?! I'm not charming! I'm not sweet! I'm not somebody you should want to meet! I gave you every warning! You ignored every sign! THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A DATE! WHY ARE YOU OBSESSED WITH MINE?! [Verse] She likes the bells. She likes the coat. Apparently the stitched-up mouth Is “mysterious.” She likes the way my head tilts. She likes the way I stare. She said my emotional instability Has “presence.” [Spoken] I hate this woman. [Spoken — Irritated] You understand that I am a villain, correct? Yes. A villain. Not a boyfriend. Not a mysterious dark prince. Not your “fixer-upper.” A VILLAIN. Stop writing that down. [Pre-Chorus — Increasingly Frantic] I said, “I spread despair!” She said, “How exciting!” I said, “I can hear your fear!” She said, “Keep talking.” I said, “I'll make you question who you are!” She said— [Spoken — Female] “Finally, a man with ambition.” [Long silence.] [Chorus — Heavy] I'M THE WORST MAN YOU COULD EVER MEET! I'VE GOT A GRAVEYARD UNDERNEATH MY FEET! I'LL MAKE YOU FEEL EVERYTHING YOU'VE EVER HIDDEN! WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE I'VE BEEN FORGIVEN?! I'm not charming! I'm not sweet! I'm not somebody you should want to meet! I gave you every warning! You ignored every sign! THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A DATE! WHY ARE YOU OBSESSED WITH MINE?! [Bridge — Dark Waltz / Whispered Male Vocals] Soft bells. Maybe... Maybe I can scare her. Fear. Guilt. Anger. Grief. Hope. Love. Hatred. Everything. All at once. The music begins layering and distorting. Feel everything. Feel everything. Feel everything Why isn't she screaming? [Breakdown — Layered Male Vocals] FEAR! Nothing. PANIC! Nothing. DESPAIR! She's smiling. GRIEF! She's still smiling. ANGER! Why is she getting closer?! STOP. Bell. STOP. Bell. STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT! [Final Chorus — Chaotic Male Vocal] I'M A NIGHTMARE! I'M A CURSE! I'M THE THING THAT MAKES YOUR WORST FEARS WORSE! I don't want flowers! I don't want romance! I don't want another— SECOND CHANCE! I'm not your prince! I'm not your king! I'm the thing beneath everything! SO WHY ARE YOU STILL SITTING THERE?! [Timer rings] Oh. The timer. [Outro — Deadpan Male Vocal] Bell chime. Three minutes. Your time is up. You can leave now Of course you're not. [Long sigh] I hate speed dating...


