We live in a world where the pursuit of happiness has been hijacked by the pursuit of stuff. They sell you the idea that owning more—more gadgets, more clothes, more cars—will somehow fill the void. [short interlude] I’m a modern man, A man for the millennium, Digital and smoke free. [short interlude] A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist, Politically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been uplinked, downloaded, inputted, and outsourced. I know the upside of downsizing And the downside of upgrading. I’m a high tech lowlife, A cutting edge state-of-the-art multitasker, And I can give you a gigabyte in a nano second. I’m new wave but old school, My inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot wired, heat seeking, cool customer, Voice activated and biodegradable. [interlude] I interface from a database in cyberspace. A street-wise smart bomb, A top gun bottom feeder. I wear power ties, Tell power lies, Take power naps, Run victory laps. I’m a bigfoot slam dunk rainmaker, A raging workaholic, A working ragaholic. Out of rehab, in denial. I got a personal trainer, A personal shopper, A personal assistant, And a personal agenda. You can’t shut me up, You can’t dumb me down. I’m tireless and wireless, An alpha male on beta blockers, A non-believer and over-achiever. Laid back but fashion forward. My output is down, My income is up. I reed junk mail, Eat junk food, Buy junk bonds, Watch trash sports. I bought a microwave at a mini mall, A mini van in a mega store. I eat fast food in the slow lane. I’m toll free, bite sized, ready to wear, And come in all sizes. A fully equipped, factory authorized, hospital tested, Clinically proven, scientifically formulated medical miracle. I have unlimited broadband capacity.
