Being near you is like Trying to hold onto water It's foolish to try when I Know that's not what hands are made for Still desperate to get one last small, unassuming sip Knowing full well you'll be gone before you ever reach my lips Still I tilt my head back Trying to find one last taste Coaxing the last tepid drops Wouldn't want you going to waste Again and again 'til I'm swallowing nothing but air Savoring every relic of memory 'til I look up and you're nowhere And it's all just as well To ignore my heart's thrumming Drown out the love spell Stop looking for "something" Tamp down the swelling The past wants to sell me This never really was And never will be The echoes and maybes Pooling to death on the floor And I'm still a stepping stone Left behind, left wanting more Thoughts of today and tomorrow are drying to dust in the sun Why am I hoping for futures? They're over before they've begun Really, it's all just as well To ignore my heart's wanting Gotta remind myself That there is nothing Still I'm waiting for this When there's nothing to miss Impatiently scanning the stars For what never will be I wonder aloud in the darkness: When did you stop loving me? What words did you whisper To divest yourself of everything? What midnight candle ritual used To emerge unburdened and new? Please tell me Please teach me So I can, too I see we both have walls Designed to keep us safe My stubborn, stone heart Your blind belief that life turns out okay And I'm reaching, aimlessly trying to hold on the edge Of this crumbling thing, even as it's turning to ash in my hands So, really, it's all just as well To silence the singing Of this heartsung spell Give up on this dreaming And I know the stories Of love are all lies And I'm losing my mind because This never will be
