Office Fridge Crime Scene

[Verse 1] Open door—cold grave breath, Tupperware muttering moldy death. Someone’s soup grew teeth and hair, yogurt births a thousand stares. [Pre-Chorus] I gag—ha—swallow pride, film the slime for alibi. [Chorus] Office fridge crime scene—clock-in rot, who left hell on the topmost slot? If lunch is war, I want the crown— fork up shame, shut it down. [Post-Chorus] Ah—ah—ah— don’t hurl—chew—smile. [Verse 2] Fork sinks in—skin-of-cheese, lasagna coughs like late disease. Brown banana, liquid spine, salad screams, “you crossed the line.” [Pre-Chorus] “Whose is this?”—silence—cough, badge swipes blink like write-offs. [Break / Build] (HR barks:) “MEETING IN THE KITCHEN.” (Printer voice:) “Evidence… evidence…” (Shoes squeak; gossip foams; heartbeat clicks.) [Drop] (Beat slams back; the break room answers.) [Verse 3] I hold it up—the fossil stew, steam writes curses: “WHO ARE YOU.” Coworker whispers “don’t you dare,” I chug a sip like truth or scare. [Bridge / Rap] Left hand guilt, right hand dare, mouth says “chef,” conscience: “beware.” I chant “meal-prep”—haw—hot—wrong— tongue meets century-egg song. [Verse 4] Janitor laughs: “seen worse crimes.” We trade knuckles, share two limes. I dump the beast, pull bleach rain, wipe that coffin, purge the stain. [Double Chorus] Office fridge crime scene—clock-in rot, who left hell on the topmost slot? If lunch is war, I want the crown— fork up shame, shut it down. Office fridge crime scene—nuke that sin, label love, toss the bin. I toast the room—ah—ow—ow— “case closed,” napkin bow-out now. [Tag / Outro] (HR barks:) “SIGN THE CLEANLINESS PLEDGE.” We sign with mayo fingerprints. Meeting adjourned.