Right. I've had a go at everybody else. Suppose it's only fair. Nah, fuck it. I'm probably worse. Hypocri-me, yeah, guilty as charged Been throwing them stones from a house made of glass Judging the lot while I'm sat on me arse Three spliffs deep thinking I'm clever as fuck Look at that prick, look at what he's done Two minutes later I'm doing the same one Got a full explanation why mine don't count Theirs is a problem, mine's just how I am I smoke weed, look down on a drinker Tell him he's fucked while I'm rolling a finger Tell him he's wasting his life getting smashed Then spend half the afternoon flat on me back I'm a critic, a cynic, a walking contradiction Got a mouth full of morals and selective restrictions I'll point out your flaws, make a list of your habits Then explain all of mine like they're fucking fantastic I'm opinionated, inflated, convinced I'm the greatest Got a new track out? Nah, mine's fucking amazing Yours is alright, if I'm being polite But I listened to mine seventeen times last Hypocri-me, hypocri-me Got a different set of rules when the rules apply to me My faux pas? Nah, I chose that shit Transgression, confession, still talking my shit I've got bars for days, got bars for the lot Got bars pointing fingers at the things that I'm not Three pointing back, yeah, I noticed that So I wrote another sixteen and pointed 'em back I've got deep thoughts, deeper than yours Never mind Plato, I've been there before Socrates rang, wanted picking me brain Told him I'm busy, try Friday again My thoughts are that steep they need climbing equipment Got halfway through one, had to stop for refreshments Had a revelation while rolling a joint Forgot what it was, but I'm certain I'm right Got bars like a prison, opinions like arseholes Mine are exceptional, obviously, aren't those? Yours need correcting, mine come with a thesis Got more fucking theories than conspiracy meetings I'm a critic, a cynic, a walking contradiction Got bars for the verdict and bars for conviction Bars for the prosecution, bars for defence Then appeal my own sentence when it don't make sense I'll tell you you're biased, then pick who I favour Tell you be humble, then boast about paper Tell you your music's all sounding the same Then put out four tracks calling everyone names Hypocri-me, hypocri-me Got a different set of rules when the rules apply to me My faux pas? Nah, I chose that shit Transgression, confession, still talking my shit I've got bars for days, got bars for the lot Got bars pointing fingers at the things that I'm not Three pointing back, yeah, I noticed that So I wrote another sixteen and pointed 'em back Now here's where it gets a little less funny I don't like losing people, don't like looking stupid I can be a cunt, yeah, I know that I can Got a temper and a mouth that don't stick to the plan I've said things to hurt, not just make a point Sometimes I've gone further than I needed to go Then sat there defending the whole fucking thing When I knew deep down I could've handled it different But I won't pretend that I didn't mean it Wasn't a slip, wasn't accidental speaking My faux pas? Nah, I chose those words Just because I meant 'em don't mean they weren't absurd I want people honest, then question their honesty Want people loyal, then test their loyalty Say I don't care what anybody thinks Then spend all fucking night thinking what everybody thinks Got bars when I'm right, got bars when I'm wrong Got bars explaining why I carried on Got bars for the things I should probably regret And another fucking verse if you ain't heard it yet Want respect earned, not handed on plates Then get pissed off when they don't rate what I make Got a mouth like a solicitor charging by the minute And a conscience like a referee when my team's winning I've called people hypocrites. I've called people arrogant. Self-absorbed. Attention-seeking. Anyway... Here's a whole fucking song about me. I'm guilty, I'm filthy, I'm full of opinions Got bars like a prison with me own name written in 'em Judge, jury, defendant, I'm representing Got myself acquitted before the proceedings I can dish it, can't take it, then take it too far Call somebody arrogant while raising the bar Got a head like a courtroom, the verdict's been read Everybody's a cunt till I look in me head I smoke weed, judge people who drink Then sit there for hours too stoned to think Look down me nose while I'm I'm out
