[Epic Guitar Riff Intro] Yeah! I hereby declare… This living room… An independent republic! [Verse 1] Got a cardboard crown and a YouTube degree Read half a blog now I’ve got a PhD In Maritime Space Wizard Law Quoting Latin I barely saw Got a license plate that says “Private Soul” Sharpie’d my name in ALL CAPS bold Told the cop, “You can’t detain this man!” “I’m a vessel docked on sovereign land!” [Pre-Chorus] Don’t tread on me Unless you’ve got a warrant signed By Neptune And notarized in ‘79! [Chorus] I’m a country of one! Population: me! No taxes, no rules, no DMV! I don’t consent, can’t you see? I object in the key of C! I’m a nation of one! Can’t you understand? This Kia Sorento is foreign land! Welcome to my tiny monarchy— It’s just me… and my conspiracy! [Verse 2] “I’m traveling, not driving,” he said with a grin As they towed his “embassy” in Filed a lawsuit against gravity For unlawful pulling capacity Common law this, gold fringe that If there’s fringe on a flag it’s a naval combat! Courtroom’s a pirate ship, judge is a spy Bailiff’s working for the FBI [Pre-Chorus] Read it on a forum at 3AM Now it’s carved in constitutional stone If the government’s fake Then who paved the road To my sovereign home? [Chorus] I’m a country of one! Population: me! Floating free in legal fantasy! I revoke reality! On page twelve of Wikipedia-ty! I’m a nation of one! Hear my decree! No jurisdiction over me! Except when I call 911… Then I guess I’m number one! [Bridge – Spoken Over Dramatic Guitar] Sir, this is a Wendy’s. You cannot declare independence in the drive-thru. No, the ketchup packets are not reparations. [Breakdown] Stamped it! Sealed it! Signed in red ink! If I say “I do not consent” Does the universe blink? Magic words like cheat codes, Trying to glitch real life But yelling “Admiralty!” Won’t get you out of a speeding fine! [Final Chorus – Big Arena Style] I’m a country of one! Standing alone! King of a double-wide throne! No borders, no trade, no GDP— Just unpaid court fees! I’m a nation of one! Raise my own flag! Stitched from a grocery bag! You can keep your democracy— I’ll be here… Arguing with a parking meter About sovereignty! [Outro – Fading Guitar Solo] Long live me… Long may I reign… Over this folding chair domain… Population one… And dropping… By common sense decree.
