# STUFF YOUR STOCKINGS TONIGHT *Naughty Christmas Blues Rock / Dirty Southern Boogie* [Intro - Deep raspy spoken voice] Hoo, hoo, hoo... Well, hello, ma'am... God damn! Santa wasn't ready for THAT! [Dirty guitar riff kicks in] [Verse 1] Hoo, hoo, hoo! Hello, ma'am! God damn, When you're looking like that! I'm gonna tip my hat And drop my pants, Baby, you just ruined My Christmas plans! Got a sack full of presents, And a twinkle in my eye, Been flying all December, Now I'm ready for a wild night. You can keep the milk and cookies, I got something else in mind, And if you ask me what I'm bringing, Well, it's one of a kind! [Pre-Chorus] I've been checking my list, I've been checking it twice, And baby, what I'm seeing Ain't exactly nice! You're on my naughty list, Right there at number one, And something tells me Christmas has just begun! [Chorus] I'm gonna stuff more than your stockings tonight! Oh, baby, gonna make your Christmas bright! You're on my naughty list for sure, And I'm gonna stuff you some more! Hoo, hoo, hoo! What a hell of a sight! Santa's getting naughty tonight! Stuff those stockings! Ring those bells! We're having Christmas, But we ain't gonna tell! Hoo, hoo, hoo! Turn down the lights! I'm gonna stuff more than your stockings tonight! [Verse 2] She said, "Hey there, Santa, What's inside that sack?" I said, "A little Christmas magic, And I ain't taking it back." She laughed and took my Santa hat, Put it on her head, Said, "Forget about the chimney, Come on in instead!" My reindeer started knocking, Said, "We've got a job to do!" I shouted out the window, "Well, Christmas can wait for you!" Rudolph rolled his eyes, And the elves began to swear, While Santa's red suspenders Went flying through the air! [Pre-Chorus] The clock is ticking midnight, The snow is coming down, But this old Santa Claus Ain't leaving this town! She said, "You talk a big game, But can you back it up?" I said, "Honey, I've got magic, And a whole lot of luck!" [Chorus] I'm gonna stuff more than your stockings tonight! Oh, baby, gonna make your Christmas bright! You're on my naughty list for sure, And I'm gonna stuff you some more! Hoo, hoo, hoo! What a hell of a sight! Santa's getting naughty tonight! Stuff those stockings! Ring those bells! We're having Christmas, But we ain't gonna tell! Hoo, hoo, hoo! Turn down the lights! I'm gonna stuff more than your stockings tonight! [Instrumental - Dirty blues guitar solo, funky bass, pounding drums, sleigh bells] [Bridge - Spoken, playful] She said, "Santa, is that a candy cane in your pocket?" I said, "Well, sweetheart... It sure ain't a Christmas tree!" [Band stops] She said, "And what about Mrs. Claus?" [Awkward silence] "Uh-oh..." [Drum fill - Band explodes back in] [Verse 3] Now the sun is coming up, And my sleigh is running late, There's a hundred million presents Still waiting at the gate. My beard is looking crooked, My hat is on the floor, And she's standing by the fireplace, Saying, "Santa, just one more!" I said, "Girl, you're trouble!" She said, "You started this!" Then she pulled me by my jacket For a Christmas morning kiss. Now the elves are calling nonstop, And Rudolph's turning blue, But I think I'll take a holiday From all the ho-ho-ho I do! [Final Chorus - Full band, double energy] I'm gonna stuff more than your stockings tonight! Oh, baby, gonna make your Christmas bright! You're on my naughty list for sure, And I'm gonna stuff you some more! Hoo, hoo, hoo! What a hell of a sight! Santa's getting naughty tonight! Stuff those stockings! Ring those bells! We're having Christmas, But we ain't gonna tell! Hoo, hoo, hoo! Turn down the lights! I'm gonna stuff more than your stockings tonight! [Outro - Guitar slows, spoken] Hoo... hoo... hoo... Merry Christmas, sweetheart. [Pause] Now... where the hell did I leave my pants? [Final dirty guitar chord]
