Verse 1 Oh the turkey started walking, ’Cause it wasn’t fully dead, It tap-danced on the table With moldy stuffing on its head. The gravy looked like swamp mud, And it bubbled with a glow— A festive green explosion Saying, “Please don’t make me go!” Chorus It’s a revolting Christmas, A nauseating night, Where everything is slimy And nothing’s cooked quite right. The tree smells like old pickles, The wreath is full of toes— Not real ones (don’t panic), Just gummy candy gross! Verse 2 The cookies grew antennas And began to sing off-key, They crawled across the counter Like a sugar-powered flea. The cocoa smelled suspicious, Like it once was milk but… no— Now it’s doing yoga stretches In a cup that starts to glow. Chorus It’s a revolting Christmas, A festive heap of “why?”, Where Santa holds his stomach As he stumbles from the pie. The elves are sniffing fruitcake That expired years ago— And even they look worried Which is really saying so. Bridge So gather ‘round the table If you dare to take a seat, Just don’t poke the mashed potatoes— They might get up and compete. The bells are slightly moldy, The lights ooze mystery goo, But hey, it’s Merry Christmas… And it’s far too late to shoo! Final Chorus It’s a revolting Christmas, Disgustingly divine, A stomach-turning holiday That still somehow feels fine. So raise your mugs of weirdness As the grossness starts to grow— And have a pukey, goofy, Over-the-top Ho Ho Ho!
