Wild Heart

I packed my things at half past four, Two shirts, a dress, a pair of shoes. Left the coffee by the door, Left the television on the news. The motel sign was missing red, The hallway smelled of rain and dust. I had the keys beside the bed. I always leave before I must. I know the little signs by heart, The cheap blue curtains, painted walls. I know exactly when to start, I know exactly when to call. No one was waiting in the car. No voice was telling me to go. There wasn't even anything I could blame before I drove. I've made a life Out of knowing when to leave. It looked like courage From the other side of me. Wild heart, Don't make a promise you can't keep. Wild heart, Don't call it freedom when you flee. You can turn the key, You can take the road, You can make a virtue of letting go. Wild heart, What are you running from tonight? I used to think a door was proof That I could never be confined. If someone wanted something true, I'd disappear before they tried. I called it taste. I called it pride. I called it knowing what I need. Funny how many different names A frightened woman can believe. Nobody held me. Nobody asked me to stay. That was the trouble. There was nothing to escape. Wild heart, Don't make a promise you can't keep. Wild heart, Don't call it freedom when you flee. You can turn the key, You can take the road, You can make a virtue of letting go. Wild heart, What are you running from tonight? I looked at all my little rules, The ones I carried like a creed. Never depend. Never belong. Never let somebody see How badly I could want a thing. Then something strange occurred to me: Nobody had asked me anything. No ring. No bargain. No demand. No hand around my wrist. Just an empty chair, A telephone, And all the room in the world to make a choice I couldn't blame on him. Maybe I don't need to leave. Maybe I don't need to stay. Maybe those were never the only choices anyway. Maybe freedom isn't proved by how far you can disappear. Maybe I can want somebody without handing over my name. Wild heart, You don't have to prove you're free. Wild heart, You don't have to belong to me. Turn the key if you want to go. Leave it there if you don't. No grand goodbye. No holy sign. No reason dressed up as a lie. Wild heart, For once, don't make the answer clear. Morning came without permission. I put my shoes beside the bed. The car was still there. So was I. ©𓂃𝑴𝒂𝒈𝒏𝒐𝒍𝒊𝒂𓂃 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟔. 𝑨𝒍𝒍 𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒔 𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒗𝒆𝒅