M4X1MUM MELV1N - (My Mom Said I Was a) Lady Killer

My mother… an extraordinarily perceptive woman… once informed me… that I was… *A lady killer.* I got eighteen tabs open all related to your interests including several archived interviews to better understand your emotional journey I pre-selected conversation topics using online trend analytics My trench coat flows dramatically when the basement fan oscillates I made eye contact with a cashier for approximately… eight seconds straight She was probably overwhelmed… by the intensity of the encounter. I know what women like Confidence Mystery Advanced cable management My Mom said I was a lady killer Certified heart-attack deliverer Check the name for the four-one-one Maximum Melvin has entered the chat Lady Killer! The legend grows and my keyboard lights in romantic RGB modes! Lady Killer! That's the data I received She said I'm very handsome and my posture's improved dramatically I own three varieties of limited-edition body spray One is called “Dark Temptation” which females find psychologically engaging I optimized my dating profile with scientifically chosen back-lighting My bio says: “Emotionally complex. Excellent with firmware updates.” The response rate remains… statistically concerning. Though one profile did describe me as… “surprisingly polite.” I did not choose to possess this level of intellectual magnetism… It is simply… my burden. My mom said I was a Lady Killer! Social threat level: particularly severe Check the name for the 4-1-1 Maximum Melvin has entered the chat Lady Killer! The legend grows and my keyboard lights in romantic RGB modes! I once received… a smile… from a dental hygienist. You may draw your own conclusions. Statistically speaking my attractiveness curve has shown consistent upward momentum Since purchasing… a weighted blanket. My Mom said I was a LADY KILLER! The neighborhood's most eligible bachelor Check the name for the 4-1-1 MAXIMUM MELVIN CANNOT BE OUTDONE Lady Killer! They fear my mind and also my limited-edition anime hoodie collection Females find mystery… extremely compelling. I should probably… log off before becoming too desirable.