[Intro] [Intro Guitar] [Verse 1] My neighbor is running around He’s in an excitable mood Ole Bobby Bag-biter got a visitor come’in to stay His mail order bride is arriving today I’m told her name is Hortense Pucker-Facktor [Bridge] She’s from Europe From one of those exotic places At least that’s what the internet says [Verse 2] She came by crate When we let her out she was about to faint Covered in hair head to toe Looks like an artic musk ox Not a single tooth in a row [Verse 3] Pumped some fluids in her Set to Shaving her back From her neck to her crack Got her cleaned up and smelling good [Bridge] Doused her in scent of the month Something he gets from the hunt’in club [Interlude] [Verse 4] She came by crate When we let her out she was about to faint Covered in hair head to toe Looks like an artic musk ox Not a single tooth in a row [Verse 5] Pumped some fluids in her Set to Shaving her back From her neck to her crack Got her cleaned up and smelling good [Interlude] [Verse 6] Took her down to the local flea market Let her pick out some teeth Never seen a woman so happy All she did was smile [Verse 7] Stopped in at the local supply A new set of overalls They never go out of style Slipped into a new pair of work boots She’s gonna fit right in [Verse 8] Then some Karen committed a sin She cut in line Hortense gave her a quick elbow to the jaw That Karen was done for Sprawled out on the floor [Interlude] [Verse 9] Stopped in at the local supply A new set of overalls They never go out of style Slipped into a new pair of work boots She’s gonna fit right in [Bridge] He says my arms don’t quite fit round her She’s a big girl…. All muscle…. A site to see…. [Interlude] [Verse 11] He’s not gonna worry Always up for a challenge Bobby has plenty of rope Has his tree climbing gaffs All that will help cut the distance in half [Verse 12] Later that night When things quieted down We could hear ole Bag-Biter cry Save me sweet baby Jesus Save my soul [Verse 13] Ms Pucker-Facktor was a huff’in Sounded like a bull elk in rut She was working Bobby over He’ll never be the same Did not get much sleep this night [Interlude] [Outro] Hell of a union…. Both in love…. Six little bag-biters running about One old man with a Pucker-Facktor Happiest little tribe around town [Fade] [End] [END] [Interlude] [Verse 11] He’s not gonna worry Always up for a challenge Bobby has plenty of rope Has his tree climbing gaffs All that will help cut the distance in half [Verse 12] Later that night When things quieted down We could hear ole Bag-Biter cry Save me sweet baby Jesus Save my soul [Verse 13] Ms Pucker-Facktor was a huff’in Sounded like a bull elk in rut She was working Bobby over He’ll never be the same Did not get much sleep this night [Interlude] [Outro] Hell of a union…. Both in love…. Six little bag-biters running about One old man with a Pucker-Facktor Happiest little tribe around town [Fade] [End] [END]
