[Verse 1] Who stole the light? Who took the rent? Who made the whole block feel half-bent? Who jammed the trains and cracked the curb? Who put that stink in every word? [Pre-Chorus] Point your finger. Lower your chin. I need a name to let us in. A face to feed, a throat to blame. Look there, look there— Goldsteen. [Chorus] Blame it on Goldsteen! Blame it on Goldsteen! Rent and the rain, blame it on Goldsteen! Blame it on Goldsteen! Blame it on Goldsteen! If it goes wrong, it’s Goldsteen! [Verse 2] Probably eats babies. Sleeps in a crypt. Went to that island. Does not skip. Listens to Nickelback. Counts every dime. Laughs at the clocks and steals our time. [Pre-Chorus] Point your finger. Feel that thrill. One small villain makes us stand still. No more confusion. No more shame. Say the name, say the name— Goldsteen. [Chorus] Blame it on Goldsteen! Blame it on Goldsteen! Crime and the smoke, blame it on Goldsteen! Blame it on Goldsteen! Blame it on Goldsteen! If it goes wrong, it’s Goldsteen! [Bridge] [Leader] Who sank the subway? [Ensemble] Goldsteen! [Leader] Who tanked the Knicks? [Ensemble] Goldsteen! [Leader] Who bent the weather? [Ensemble] Goldsteen! [Leader] Who fixed the fix? [Ensemble] Goldsteen! Goldsteen! Goldsteen! Goldsteen! [Leader] Don’t ask why. Don’t ask how. We have a shape to hate right now. [Final Chorus] Blame it on Goldsteen! Blame it on Goldsteen! Potholes, bad news, blame it on Goldsteen! Blame it on Goldsteen! Blame it on Goldsteen! If it goes wrong, it’s Goldsteen! Blame it on Goldsteen! Blame it on Goldsteen! Look at that face on every screen! Blame it on Goldsteen! Blame it on Goldsteen! We found our fear, his name is Goldsteen! [Spoken Button] [Mild Man] I just wrote a musical.
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