Motion of the Lotion

Let's begin with something simple, Sac, A fluid doesn't always push the same way back. Water stays predictable when forces change, But emulsions can behave across a different range. Viscosity tells us how it wants to flow, How much resistance when you make it go. Apply some stress and measure the rate, Plot the response and see what you create. Some formulations thin beneath the strain, Increase the shear and resistance starts to wane. That's non-Newtonian behavior in motion, And today's little sample... Is lotion. Force and movement, pressure and time, Change the flow and watch the line. Nothing mysterious, nothing strange, Motion makes the viscosity change. IT'S THE MOTION OF THE LOTION! Watch the way it flows. More applied shear, Less resistance as it goes. THE MOTION OF THE LOTION! That's the principle in play. Work it back and forth And it spreads a little easier that way. It's physics, Sac. Take some notes. It's all about the motion of the lotion. Now dispense a measured portion in your hand, Spread it evenly across the testing span. Keep your pressure steady, keep your stroke controlled, Record the rate and note how long the film will hold. Friction drops when lubrication stays, Temperature can alter how the sample behaves. Repeated motion keeps the material under shear, So document your observations while they're clear. If the layer gets too thin, apply some more, Maintain consistent contact like we practiced before. Stroke rate matters, so repeat the operation, Then compare your results across duration. Steady pressure. Measured dose. Consistent strokes. Observe it close. Keep good records, Sac, you'll do fine. I'll leave you to your studies. Take your time. Sac increased the shear rate... IN THE INTEREST OF SCIENCE. Repeated reciprocation For experimental compliance. Faster motion, lower drag, Another pump when friction drags. Temperature rising, sample getting hot, Maintain the film and don't you fucking stop. Stroke after stroke, he's gathering data, Working that lotion like a masturbating calculator. Viscosity falling, coefficient slick, Sac discovered hands-on science pretty damn quick. Applied stress! Increase the rate! Lubricate! Recalculate! If the film breaks down before completion, Add another dose and resume repetition! IT'S THE MOTION OF THE LOTION! Keep that hand in circulation! Up and down, increase the rate, That's vigorous experimentation! THE MOTION OF THE LOTION! Sac is working through the night! More sustained shear Makes that slippery shit glide right! Keep the rhythm! Mind the friction! Sac is testing his prediction! It's physics... With suspicious dedication. THE MOTION OF THE LOTION! Pump. Stroke. Shear. Flow. Faster. Hotter. There it goes. Resistance dropping. Friction low. Reapply. Resume the show. How much lotion did he use? Conservation of mass says... WE HAVE QUESTIONS. Bottle number one became an empty container, Bottle number two joined the data five minutes later. Sac said increased volume improved repeatability, Which sounds like bullshit dressed as reproducibility. Right hand working through a high-speed trial, Left hand logging observations in a scientific file. Hydration bottle standing ready on the side, Because peer-reviewed research is a strenuous ride. He's testing stroke length, pressure, speed, Determining precisely how much lubrication he needs. Long-duration trials for statistical devotion, Sac became a scholar of the motion of the lotion! THE MOTION OF THE LOTION! SAC HAS MASTERED THE TECHNIQUE! Sustained repetitive shear For an academically questionable week! THE MOTION OF THE LOTION! HE'S A ONE-MAN RESEARCH LAB! Working viscosity down With every stroke and every grab! Pressure! Friction! Lubrication! Rhythmic manual agitation! For science! For knowledge! For higher education! THE! MOTION! OF THE FUCKING LOTION! Okay, Sac, let's see what your experiment... ...produced. Why... is there lotion on the wall? Why is there lotion on the OTHER wall? Sac. How the fuck... did you get it on the ceiling? I taught you the motion of the lotion. I did not tell you to repaint the fucking room. Jackson Pollock used less paint. And whatever you do... DO NOT TURN ON THE BLACK LIGHT. HAND CHECK!