[Opening: explosive 1980s Saturday-morning cereal commercial, bright synth brass, slap bass, handclaps, Linn-style drums] [Children’s Choir] Wake up! Get up! Start it right! Daily Portion morning bright! [Cartoon Mascot Voice: energetic male, goofy and lovable] Hey, breakfast buddies! It’s PORTION PAL! [Kids cheering] [Portion Pal] Stay bright! Eat right! [Kids Choir] DAILY PORTION! [Verse 1: Bright Female Commercial Singer] Golden little crunches With the vitamins you need, A balanced bowl of goodness For a happy life indeed! Pour the milk, Grab a spoon, Morning’s gonna happen soon! Every bite is measured right To keep your future looking bright! [Kids Choir] Crunch it! Munch it! Smile and say— [Full Jingle Chorus] Daily Portion! Start the day! Good nutrition the approved way! Crunch it! Munch it! Smile and say— Good citizens eat Daily Portion every day! [Synth-brass fanfare] [Adult Female Announcer: cheerful, polished 1980s commercial voice] Daily Portion is packed with eleven essential vitamins, wholesome grains, and our exclusive— [Sparkling chime] [Announcer] Personalized Portioning™! [Portion Pal] Because everybody deserves… exactly the breakfast they qualify for! [Kids cheering] [Verse 2: Male Commercial Singer] Mom gets breakfast, Kids do too, There’s a perfect portion picked especially for you! Work on time, Keep things neat, Watch your status— earn your treat! [Female Trio] Every morning, every bowl, Nutrition made to fit your role! [System Chime] [Artificial System Voice: pleasant female voice] Citizen household status: GOLD. [Kids Choir] YAAAAAY! [Full Chorus] Daily Portion! Start the day! Good nutrition the approved way! Crunch it! Munch it! Smile and say— Good citizens eat Daily Portion every day! [Electro-funk instrumental break] [Portion Pal] And remember, Portion Pals— [Cartoon sparkle] [Portion Pal] Good choices make good crunches! [Young Boy Spoken Voice: innocent] Mom? Why is Dad’s bowl smaller today? [Music abruptly stops] [Adult Female Spoken Voice: mother, gentle but uneasy] He had a little disagreement at work. [Young Boy] Is Dad still hungry? [Two-second silence] [Adult Female Announcer: instantly cheerful] That’s okay! With improved participation, tomorrow can be delicious again! [Happy synth flourish] [Music resumes brighter than before] [Bridge: Kids Choir, aggressively cheerful] Work right! Speak right! Act right! Eat right! [Portion Pal] Stay bright! [Kids Choir] KEEP YOUR PORTION LOOKING BRIGHT! [Female Lead] Your serving changes as you grow, The system knows just what you’re owed! Bronze or silver, Gold or green— [System glitch] Restricted portions keep communities clean! [Brief silence] [Female Announcer] Healthy. We meant healthy. [Cheerful bell] [Low acid bass enters beneath electro-funk] [Verse 3: Male and Female Commercial Duet] Breakfast knows when you’re improving, Breakfast knows when you’re on track, Breakfast gives a little extra— [Artificial System Voice] Or appropriately holds it back. [Kids Choir] THANK YOU, DAILY PORTION! [Goa arpeggio begins] [Portion Pal: slightly distorted] Every bowl tells a story! [Trance build] [Kids Choir] WORK RIGHT! SPEAK RIGHT! EAT RIGHT! SMILE BRIGHT! [System Voice] Household compliance rising. [Acid sequence intensifies] [Full Ensemble] CRUNCH! MUNCH! EARN! REPEAT! [Psytrance Drop] DAILY PORTION! FILL YOUR BOWL! GOOD BEHAVIOR KEEPS YOU WHOLE! DAILY PORTION! DO YOUR PART! HEALTHY BODY! HEALTHY HEART! FOLLOW! QUALIFY! KEEP THAT BREAKFAST STACKED UP HIGH! [Massive bass hit] [System Voice] Citizen status adjustment detected. [Music briefly warps] [Young Boy Spoken Voice] Mom… Dad doesn’t have a bowl now. [Silence] [Adult Female Spoken Voice: mother, quietly] Eat your breakfast. [One spoon taps bowl] [Instantly cheerful final chorus] [Full Ensemble] DAILY PORTION! START THE DAY! GOOD NUTRITION THE APPROVED WAY! CRUNCH IT! MUNCH IT! SMILE AND SAY— GOOD CITIZENS EAT DAILY PORTION EVERY DAY! [Kids Choir] STAY BRIGHT! EAT RIGHT! [Portion Pal] And remember, kids— [Cartoon Mascot Voice: huge smile] Tomorrow’s breakfast… depends on YOU! [Commercial fanfare] [Adult Female Announcer] DAILY PORTION™! Good citizens deserve a good breakfast! [Soft system chime] [Artificial System Voice: emotionless] Next household review: Oh six hundred. [Single cereal crunch]
