# The Scone War [Intro — spoken] The duck reaches for the scone. The vampire slaps its wing away. “No.” **QUACK.** “I said no.” The duck looks at the scone. Then at him. “Oh, don’t you dare.” [Verse 1] One small scone on a picnic plate, One vampire guarding his fate. Monsters watching, holding tea, “This is getting serious,” says somebody. The duck takes one tiny step. The vampire bares his teeth. “Back away from the baked goods.” [Chorus] It’s the great big scone war, Nobody knows what for. One duck, one vampire, one last snack— And neither side will back. Tea goes flying, ghosts all cheer, Skeletons are nowhere near Useful in a crisis like this— They’re too busy taking bets. [Verse 2] The duck makes one heroic leap. The vampire screams, “BETRAYAL!” The scone goes up. The scone comes down. Straight into a monster’s tea. Silence. Everyone stares. The monster takes one sip. “…Actually, not bad.” [Bridge] Then the whole picnic starts laughing, Even the vampire joins in too. The duck gets half the ruined scone. He sighs, “Fine. But I’m keeping the jam from you.” [Final Chorus] It was the great big scone war, No one remembers what for. Now the monsters share the cake, And the ducks get crumbs to take. Hidden Island, violet sky, Dreamscape drifting quietly by. Strange little family, tea in hand— Exactly how we planned. [Outro — spoken] “Right. Peace?” **QUACK.** “Peace.” A duck opens the picnic basket. Inside: Twenty more scones. The vampire freezes. “…Nobody move.”
