found an old chart from when I used to post on TradingView. someone turned five hundred into a few grand off that one. I didn't buy any. I liked watching it get there. public chat's gone now. last thing I saw was some bloke asking if I was still alive. yeah. sort of. mum's got the power bill open at the kitchen bench, says don't worry about it, just read what they've sent. I know how this goes, get the login working, find the payment plan, then ask how much we're short. my brother's got wages, sister's got hers, both got their own stuff on, always have. apparently mine doesn't count if I can do it sitting down, I put thirty on it without checking what I've got. got my own board, phone, groceries, the internet, something coming out next week I haven't accounted for yet. the app says payment received, lovely, spend ten minutes working out what's left of it. mum says thanks, I tell her it's alright, then get pissy over something stupid, like who used the last of the dishwashing liquid. she doesn't deserve that. I know. I'll sort it, yeah, I'll sort it. just give us a minute. I'll sort it. don't know where I'm getting it yet. I'll sort it. I'll sort it, I said I'll sort it. leave it with me. I'll figure something out. always do, don't I? yeah. I'll sort it. used to sit up watching volume move across a chart, call a bottom, post the levels, make a coffee, splash of Irish, bit of milk, no sugar, wake up to people carrying on about the numbers. some made five times, one said ten, I just liked getting it right back then. never held a position, yeah, I could've, had about forty dollars spare, if I was lucky, and I can lose forty just getting into town, sometimes that's why I didn't put anything down. sometimes I was scared of being wrong with actual money, easier keeping screenshots than watching it leave me. now somebody asks me what's moving next, same bloke who said I was mad for not buying in. asks if I can send fifty till his pay comes through, he's got a job, but that's not really the issue. I start listing everything I've got coming out, hear myself explaining, don't know why I'm doing it now. send twenty-five, say that's all I've got, which is nearly true. google storage, Gemini, GPT, Claude, Suno, yeah, I know, looks bad when you put it all together. they do different things, I've explained this, one for the music, one for code, another when I'm stuck with something, and Google's saying my mail's almost full, got a whole speech ready but nobody asked for it. spent half an hour checking what I could cancel, closed the page, made another track instead. there's stuff to finish, stuff people asked me for, Discord's open beside a project from Tuesday. there's a reply from a listener, three days old, used to get a kick out of those, still do. just keep looking at it, can't think what to say, nothing I haven't told someone else already. some nights I leave my headphones on, realise nothing's been playing for an hour. I'll sort it. I said I'll sort it. it's alright, mum. give us a minute. I'll sort it. yeah. I'll sort it, just not tonight. I've got a few things to finish. yeah, I know I said that yesterday. I'll get around to it. I'll sort it. mate sends back fifty from the sixty-five. "cheers legend." like that's it, we're square. I type out fifteen. delete it. it's fifteen dollars. listen to me. then I open the banking app and count it again. I've been telling myself for years when I get a bit ahead I'll actually put money on a call. start putting something away. finish the things I start. I had a chance last month. wasn't much. spent it on something I can't remember now. could've checked. didn't. mum asks if I'm alright. I say yeah, just tired. she goes, you've been tired a while. I say, yeah, I know. then ask if she wants a cup of tea, because I don't really want to do the next bit. stopped at the servo, tried to get twenty out. thirty-four left. bill comes out tomorrow. machine takes my card, thinks about it. "OUT OF CASH". yeah, righto. even the machine's broke. told myself next person asks, I'm saying no. don't care who. no explaining it. phone lights up. "hey mate, quick one, you got twenty till Friday?" I read it twice. already got his Pay I-D saved. I'll sort it, yeah, I'll sort it. just give us a minute. I'll sort it. don't know where I'm getting it yet. I'll sort it. I'll sort it, I said I'll sort it. don't need to keep asking. I've got it, yeah, I've got it. well, some of it. I'll sort it. I'll sort it. I'll sort it. just gotta check something. give us a minute. yeah, alright. I'll sort it. Even ATM's run out of money...
