[Intro — spoken] Ladies and gentlemen… Please clear the aisle. We got incoming. [Horn blast] [Verse 1] Donnie got a big ass Big enough to block the sun Big enough to need a permit Big enough for everyone Big ass in the doorway Big ass on the chair Big ass got its own zip code And a weather system there [Backing vocals] Ohhhh, that ass! [Pre-Chorus] Left cheek leaning eastbound Right cheek heading west Nobody knows the measurements But frankly that’s for the best [Chorus] DONNIE’S GOT A BIG ASS A BIG, BIG ASS Coming through the hallway Moving very fast DONNIE’S GOT A BIG ASS Everybody stand back If that thing starts turning You could lose a Cadillac [Horn riff] BAH! BAH-BAH! BIG ASS! [Verse 2] Donnie took a seat once Furniture said “no” Chair filed for retirement Floor said, “Here we go” Tailor brought a tape measure Tape measure just gave up Said, “Sir, I’m gonna need a second one And possibly a truck” [Backing vocals] Measure it again! [Pre-Chorus] One cheek over Georgia One cheek over Maine When Donnie backs that thing up They put cones around the lane [Chorus] DONNIE’S GOT A BIG ASS A BIG, BIG ASS Needs an escort vehicle Every time it passes DONNIE’S GOT A BIG ASS Call the National Guard Half of it is in the ballroom Half is in the yard [Breakdown — bass only] Big. Ass. Big. Ass. [Spoken] How big? [Backing vocals] TOO BIG! How wide? [Backing vocals] WE DON’T KNOW! Can it fit through standard doors? [Backing vocals] NOOOOOOO! [Verse 3] There’s talk of special zoning There’s talk of county lines There’s talk the Smithsonian Requested naming rights Scientists are cautious Engineers look pale Somebody saw it from Wisconsin During heavy hail [Bridge — dramatic gospel] Lord, give me strength Lord, give me grace That ass has entered My personal space Lord, sound the horn Lord, ring the bell Donnie’s big ass Has breached the stairwell [Massive Chorus] DONNIE’S GOT A BIG ASS A BIG, BIG ASS Swinging like a wrecking ball Through the working class DONNIE’S GOT A BIG ASS Put it on the map If he ever sits on Michigan We’re never getting back [Outro — chants] BIG ASS! BIG ASS! DONNIE GOT A BIG ASS! BIG ASS! BIG ASS! SOMEBODY CHECK THE OVERPASS! [Music stops] [Spoken] This has been a public service announcement. Please remain behind the yellow line.
