Where’s the Tall Guy?

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[INTRO — lead vocal, light and conversational]
They said they hired somebody tall
Finally, somebody who can reach it all
Top shelf, high sign, anything above
I thought maybe this place had finally learned to show some love
They said, “He's somewhere out on the floor”
So I grabbed my list and headed for the door
I've got one little thing I need him to do
Just gotta find him first...
[LEAD VOCAL — curious]
Where'd he go?
[VERSE 1 — lead vocal, playful]
I checked the front, I checked the back
I checked the aisles and the service desk
Somebody said, “I think he's over there”
So I turned around and saw a shadow standing tall
I walked right up, “Hey, can you give me a—”
[MOTION SENSOR ACTIVATES]
[SKELETON — prerecorded Halloween decoration, raspy robotic voice, sudden and exaggerated]
Welcome, foolish mortal!
[SKELETON — laughing, rattling]
Heh heh heh heh!
[LEAD VOCAL — confused]
Oh.
You're not the tall guy.
[SKELETON — prerecorded, cheerful sinister voice]
No... I am the skeleton.
[LEAD VOCAL — dry]
Yeah.
I can see that.
[CHORUS — lead vocal, catchy and airy]
Where's the tall guy?
I need the tall guy
Somebody said he's working somewhere here
Where's the tall guy?
I need the tall guy
I keep finding Halloween instead
Where's the tall guy?
I need the tall guy
I can't see over half the stuff in here
Where's the tall guy?
I need the tall guy
Is anybody actually six feet near?
[POST-CHORUS — lead vocal with playful backing echoes]
Tall guy...
Where'd you go?
[VERSE 2 — lead vocal, increasingly amused]
I saw another one down Aisle Nine
Tall hat, long coat, looked about the right size
Walked up slowly, “Hey, could you reach—”
[MOTION SENSOR ACTIVATES]
[WITCH — prerecorded Halloween decoration, theatrical cackle]
Hehehehehe!
[WITCH — spooky theatrical voice]
Double, double, toil and trouble!
[LEAD VOCAL — pause, disappointed]
Nope.
Just a witch.
[WITCH — playful, prerecorded]
Looking for something?
[LEAD VOCAL — dry]
Yeah.
A tall employee.
[WITCH — cackles]
You shall never find him!
[LEAD VOCAL — muttering]
That's not helpful.
[INSTRUMENTAL TURNAROUND — playful Halloween synths]
[VERSE 3 — lead vocal]
Then I spotted something standing by the door
Seven feet tall, maybe even more
I thought, “This has to be the one I've been told about”
I walked up slowly...
[MOTION SENSOR ACTIVATES]
[GIANT GHOST — prerecorded Halloween decoration, deep goofy voice]
Boooooo!
[GIANT GHOST — echoing]
Who dares disturb the spirit of the store?
[LEAD VOCAL — hopeful]
Are you the tall guy?
[GHOST — long pause, then confused]
...Booooo?
[LEAD VOCAL — deadpan]
You're not even real.
[GHOST — offended]
Rude.
[CHORUS — lead vocal, fuller production]
Where's the tall guy?
I need the tall guy
Somebody said he's working somewhere here
Where's the tall guy?
I need the tall guy
I keep finding Halloween instead
Where's the tall guy?
I need the tall guy
I can't see over half the stuff in here
Where's the tall guy?
I need the tall guy
Is anybody actually six feet near?
[BRIDGE — lead vocal, dreamy and searching]
Maybe he's in receiving
Maybe he's down the hall
Maybe he's helping somebody
Reach something really tall
Maybe he's in the back room
Maybe he's on his break
Maybe if I stand up straight
I'll see him—
[MOTION SENSOR ACTIVATES IN THE DISTANCE]
[SKELETON — distant prerecorded voice]
Welcome, foolish mortal!
[LEAD VOCAL — irritated]
Oh, come on.
That's the skeleton again.
[SKELETON — distant laughter]
Heh heh heh heh!
[LEAD VOCAL — muttering]
I've heard that three times today.
[VERSE 4 — lead vocal, playful escalation]
Finally I see a person
Standing tall at the end of the aisle
I start walking faster
Haven't seen a human that tall in a while
“Hey! Are you the new guy?”
[CUSTOMER — ordinary male voice, confused]
No.
[LEAD VOCAL — embarrassed]
Oh.
Sorry.
[CUSTOMER — casual]
You looking for somebody?
[LEAD VOCAL]
Yeah.
The tall guy.
[CUSTOMER]
Oh, he's over there.
[LEAD VOCAL — relieved]
Really?!
[CUSTOMER]
Yeah.
[LEAD VOCAL — excited]
Finally!
[CHORUS — biggest, playful]
Where's the tall guy?
I need the tall guy
Somebody said he's working somewhere here
Where's the tall guy?
I need the tall guy
I keep finding Halloween instead
Where's the tall guy?
I need the tall guy
I've checked this whole place twice today
Where's the tall guy?
I need the tall guy
I just need somebody with some extra height
[FINAL OUTRO — lead vocal, excited]
There he is!
Hey!
I found you!
[TALL COWORKER — ordinary casual male voice, from a distance]
I've been here all day.
[LEAD VOCAL — incredulous]
Where?!
[TALL COWORKER]
Aisle Blue.
[LEAD VOCAL — pause]
...That's where I've been looking.
[TALL COWORKER]
I know.
[LEAD VOCAL — exhausted]
Why didn't I see you?
[TALL COWORKER — casual]
You're too short.
[BEAT STOPS]
[LEAD VOCAL — deadpan]
I'm going home.
[MOTION SENSOR ACTIVATES]
[WITCH — prerecorded, cheerful spooky voice]
Happy Halloween!
[SKELETON — prerecorded, laughing]
Heh heh heh heh!
[LEAD VOCAL — distant, annoyed]
Not helping.
[FINAL SYNTH HIT]

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[INTRO — lead vocal, light and conversational] They said they hired somebody tall Finally, somebody who can reach it all Top shelf, high sign, anything above I thought maybe this place had finally learned to show some love They said, “He's somewhere out on the floor” So I grabbed my list and headed for the door I've got one little thing I need him to do Just gotta find him first... [LEAD VOCAL — curious] Where'd he go? [VERSE 1 — lead vocal, playful] I checked the front, I checked the back I checked the aisles and the service desk Somebody said, “I think he's over there” So I turned around and saw a shadow standing tall I walked right up, “Hey, can you give me a—” [MOTION SENSOR ACTIVATES] [SKELETON — prerecorded Halloween decoration, raspy robotic voice, sudden and exaggerated] Welcome, foolish mortal! [SKELETON — laughing, rattling] Heh heh heh heh! [LEAD VOCAL — confused] Oh. You're not the tall guy. [SKELETON — prerecorded, cheerful sinister voice] No... I am the skeleton. [LEAD VOCAL — dry] Yeah. I can see that. [CHORUS — lead vocal, catchy and airy] Where's the tall guy? I need the tall guy Somebody said he's working somewhere here Where's the tall guy? I need the tall guy I keep finding Halloween instead Where's the tall guy? I need the tall guy I can't see over half the stuff in here Where's the tall guy? I need the tall guy Is anybody actually six feet near? [POST-CHORUS — lead vocal with playful backing echoes] Tall guy... Where'd you go? [VERSE 2 — lead vocal, increasingly amused] I saw another one down Aisle Nine Tall hat, long coat, looked about the right size Walked up slowly, “Hey, could you reach—” [MOTION SENSOR ACTIVATES] [WITCH — prerecorded Halloween decoration, theatrical cackle] Hehehehehe! [WITCH — spooky theatrical voice] Double, double, toil and trouble! [LEAD VOCAL — pause, disappointed] Nope. Just a witch. [WITCH — playful, prerecorded] Looking for something? [LEAD VOCAL — dry] Yeah. A tall employee. [WITCH — cackles] You shall never find him! [LEAD VOCAL — muttering] That's not helpful. [INSTRUMENTAL TURNAROUND — playful Halloween synths] [VERSE 3 — lead vocal] Then I spotted something standing by the door Seven feet tall, maybe even more I thought, “This has to be the one I've been told about” I walked up slowly... [MOTION SENSOR ACTIVATES] [GIANT GHOST — prerecorded Halloween decoration, deep goofy voice] Boooooo! [GIANT GHOST — echoing] Who dares disturb the spirit of the store? [LEAD VOCAL — hopeful] Are you the tall guy? [GHOST — long pause, then confused] ...Booooo? [LEAD VOCAL — deadpan] You're not even real. [GHOST — offended] Rude. [CHORUS — lead vocal, fuller production] Where's the tall guy? I need the tall guy Somebody said he's working somewhere here Where's the tall guy? I need the tall guy I keep finding Halloween instead Where's the tall guy? I need the tall guy I can't see over half the stuff in here Where's the tall guy? I need the tall guy Is anybody actually six feet near? [BRIDGE — lead vocal, dreamy and searching] Maybe he's in receiving Maybe he's down the hall Maybe he's helping somebody Reach something really tall Maybe he's in the back room Maybe he's on his break Maybe if I stand up straight I'll see him— [MOTION SENSOR ACTIVATES IN THE DISTANCE] [SKELETON — distant prerecorded voice] Welcome, foolish mortal! [LEAD VOCAL — irritated] Oh, come on. That's the skeleton again. [SKELETON — distant laughter] Heh heh heh heh! [LEAD VOCAL — muttering] I've heard that three times today. [VERSE 4 — lead vocal, playful escalation] Finally I see a person Standing tall at the end of the aisle I start walking faster Haven't seen a human that tall in a while “Hey! Are you the new guy?” [CUSTOMER — ordinary male voice, confused] No. [LEAD VOCAL — embarrassed] Oh. Sorry. [CUSTOMER — casual] You looking for somebody? [LEAD VOCAL] Yeah. The tall guy. [CUSTOMER] Oh, he's over there. [LEAD VOCAL — relieved] Really?! [CUSTOMER] Yeah. [LEAD VOCAL — excited] Finally! [CHORUS — biggest, playful] Where's the tall guy? I need the tall guy Somebody said he's working somewhere here Where's the tall guy? I need the tall guy I keep finding Halloween instead Where's the tall guy? I need the tall guy I've checked this whole place twice today Where's the tall guy? I need the tall guy I just need somebody with some extra height [FINAL OUTRO — lead vocal, excited] There he is! Hey! I found you! [TALL COWORKER — ordinary casual male voice, from a distance] I've been here all day. [LEAD VOCAL — incredulous] Where?! [TALL COWORKER] Aisle Blue. [LEAD VOCAL — pause] ...That's where I've been looking. [TALL COWORKER] I know. [LEAD VOCAL — exhausted] Why didn't I see you? [TALL COWORKER — casual] You're too short. [BEAT STOPS] [LEAD VOCAL — deadpan] I'm going home. [MOTION SENSOR ACTIVATES] [WITCH — prerecorded, cheerful spooky voice] Happy Halloween! [SKELETON — prerecorded, laughing] Heh heh heh heh! [LEAD VOCAL — distant, annoyed] Not helping. [FINAL SYNTH HIT]

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