Book II — Chapter I: wherein SCARLETT SARAH and her lover DICK O’SUILLEABHAIN trade sharp words and softer glances around a battered piano in a smoke-choked tavern; and wherein CATHY and the unruly crew of the Proud Mary bear witness to laughter edged with danger—proof that even damned souls may steal a fleeting moment of warmth before the tide turns once more… [Background noises: tavern laughter, drunken cursing, clinking mugs] [Rhythm: fast 6/8 or driving 4/4 with swing, violins, banjos, handclaps, foot stomps] [INTRO] [INTRO – spoken, playful] [INTRO – spoken: playful banter between Dick O’Suilleabhain (35, Irish male, deep husky voice) and Scarlett Sarah (deep soprano)] [intimate crowd cheering during INTRO] [Scarlett (female deep Soprano Drunk):] "Dick! A song, …" [Dick O’Suilleabhain (Drunk):] "Hey, hey! Captain!" [Piano Solo] [Verse – slow start, minor key, low whistle & fiddle] Let me tell you my name — Dick O’Suilleabhain, From Fermanagh fields where the piss ran plain. Lived with me five bold brothers and me drunken da’, Danced in hogshit, sang to fairy bras! (Yeah!) [Refrain] I’m a pirate now, I drink and I kill, I shag and I steal and I damn well will! From the piss-stained pigpen to the captain’s prow — They took my name, but I’m a pirate now! [Low accordion drones solo] [Verse – picking up tempo, bodhrán & stomps] One shite day came the Thistle Riders, Killed me Finn, the best damn fiddler in Ulster. I was drunk off me balls, couldn’t even run — The frogs said: “You’re a prisoner, son!” [Speaking – shouting] (Bloody sons of dirty bitches!) [Refrain] I’m a pirate now, I drink and I fight, I curse the day (and I hump the night!) From Belfast’s bogs to the black ship’s prow — They broke me once, (but I’m a pirate now!) [Low accordion drones] [Verse 3 – jaunty tune, banjo & fiddle duel] They tossed me down in a stinking hold, Rotten wood, worse food, and the air was cold. A hundred proud lads all tied in chains, Singing of Ireland through the shit and the pain. [Refrain – faster, louder] I’m a pirate now, I drink and I kill, (I shag and I steal) and I damn well will! From the piss-stained pigpen to the captain’s prow — [Crowd cheering] They took my name, but I’m a pirate now! [Low accordion drones solo] [Verse – sea shanty harmonies] A planter bought me, French and fat, Whipped my back and called me rat. I was dying fast, with nothing left — But I heard the sea’s voice in my breath. [Bridge] She said: “Dance for me, O dying lad. Sing for Ariel, you half-mad cad.” So I danced in blood and my brothers’ guts, And laughed like hell till I coughed them up. [Fiddle Solo] She kissed my soul with a salty tongue, Said: “Here’s a blade for every song you’ve sung.” “Kill the frogs, and the tartan dogs too — Your fate is red, and your aim is true.” [Verse – rap flow] Then came the boom of the black flag’s guns, Cannon smoke choking the midday sun. In stormed Scarlett Sarah, all blood and breast, Ugly as sin, but her tits were the best. She cut my chains with a wink and a roar, Said: “Welcome aboard, love — and down on the floor!” [Fade Outro – wild, stomping, chaos in the tavern] [intimate crowd – intimate crowd laughing during Fade Outro] I’m a pirate now, with death in me grin, No king, no priest, (no bloody sin!) I’ll drink to hell from the devil’s cask — (Yeah!) Just hand me rum and a Frenchman’s mask! [Scarlett (female deep Soprano Drunk – spoken, playful):] "Ugly as sin!! … Asshole!" [END]
