Have you ever gone to the library because it feels scary when you don’t understand the difference between the NFL and the NBA and the MLB and the NHL and the WNBA or the MLS I mean, who the heck would know this stuff? What’s the AFL and the NFC or the National League or American League or the Negro league? Do they still have that around?? they probably shouldn’t have that anymore. It seems like a subject that’s sore what I heard about the Negro league. My jaw fell through the floor. Oh, it’s not around anymore? good. (Chorus) The library it teaches you everything you need to know about sports what kind of shorts they wear over there underwear and over their nut cups or jock straps as they call them now. That’s what they call them now… (Verse) Have you ever read about other football players, famous ones who also liked to be on TV? (on TV) I read about the murderer O.J. Simpson, did you know that he used to be a football player and he was really famous too. and I really really really really hope that all football players aren't like O.J. Simpson I hope since they're remaking The Naked Gun movies that they never ever ever ask Travis to be in them as an actor, (outro) Because the library teaches you everything you need to know about sports.
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