[Pronounced: CURR-INS] [Verse 1] Saturday morning on the Wellington coast, Buggy on the front and a toddler in tow, All the fast boys lined up dreaming of first, Then Simon pushed past with a bottle and purse. Eighteen-oh-six with the pram in flight, First buggy ever to win Waitangi outright, The kid gets a cruise and the field gets cooked, While Dad checks Strava to see who looked. [Pre-Chorus] He only joined ’cause his thumb slipped through, Accidentally liked it, now what can he do? If he doesn’t reach Day 31 alive, The kudos might stop and his ego might die! [Chorus] SIMON CURR-INS ANGUS! THE BUGGY KING OF TOWN! HE’LL PUSH A CHILD AROUND THE BAY AND RUN THE WHOLE FIELD DOWN! SIMON CURR-INS ANGUS! NO PODCAST IN HIS HEAD! JUST DANNY GO AND CRUMBLING PIPES AND LEGS THAT WON’T STAY DEAD! [Verse 2] Day 18, WUU2K, Sixty-five K through the hills all day, Fifth place finish, job complete, Surely now he’d put up his feet? Next bloody morning, cross-country champs, While normal people walked like broken lamps, Third overall in twenty-nine forty-one, First Masters bloke, but he still wasn’t done. [Breakdown] He went home… Had a pie… Looked at the hill… And whispered: “Shit. I still need my vert.” [Heavy Chorus] ONE THOUSAND NINE HUNDRED! AFTER SIXTY-FIVE K! AFTER THE WELLINGTON CHAMPS ON THE VERY NEXT DAY! RUN! HIKE! SURVIVE! KEEP THE STRAVA KUDOS ALIVE! [Verse 3] Forty-eight thousand six hundred and climbing, Seventy-five hours of terrible timing, His wife still wonders what he’s up to, He’s engineering pipes, but his legs need it too. Marshmallows floating in a post-run mocha, Kilbirnie Pak’nSave pie getting closer, India Hill is his favourite grind, Mega Munter sitting in the back of his mind. [Final Chorus] SIMON CURR-INS ANGUS! THE BUGGY KING OF TOWN! A TWO-FORTY-TWO MARATHON MAN WHO WILL NOT SETTLE DOWN! SIMON CURR-INS ANGUS! THIRTY-ONE DAYS DEEP! HE DIDN’T COME FOR GLORY… HE CAME FOR KUDOS EVERY WEEK! [Outro] He ran the ultra… He raced the champs… He climbed the vert… He pushed the pram… And somewhere beneath Wellington… The pipes are still completely fucked.
