[Style: Dark British folk-punk, acoustic guitar, festive jingle bells, theatrical duet, male and female lead vocals, children's choir chorus, dark satire] [Tempo: Mid-tempo, 92 BPM, bouncy rhythm] [Intro] [Jingle of sleigh bells, sound effect of excited children cheering, quick acoustic strum] [Verse 1] [Male vocal, conversational and stressed] The lights are hung up now, darling my dear But I can't turn them on, no, not this year Just a tenner in the meter, but that will soon be gone Everything that was right has really gone wrong [Verse 2] [Female vocal, broken and emotional] The kids have written to Santa, wondering what they missed on the list Stay away from the mistletoe if you don't want a kiss Nanna's on the sherry, I think she may be pissed! [Chorus] [Children's choir singing, cheerful melody contrast with dark lyrics] Everybody's losing their goodwill and cheer I don't think the shops will be too busy this year The turkey's laying dead upon the butcher's floor The last thought it had was, "I don't like Christmas anymore!" [Verse 3] [Male vocal, quiet, guilty delivery] I don't want to do it, but I got to tell a lie Santa's had a bad crash, and they say that he may die [Verse 4] [Female vocal, strained and gritty] The whole world, darling, is going through poverty So there’s no point the kids looking under the Christmas tree Dodgy Dave runs an Aladdin's cave I'll try and buy some stolen gear and pay him back next year! [Chorus] [Children's choir singing, full festive band] Everybody's losing their goodwill and cheer I don't think the shops will be too busy this year The turkey's laying dead upon the butcher's floor The last thought it had was, "I don't like Christmas anymore!" [Outro] [Male and Female vocal duet, driving tempo, fading sleigh bells] Got to tell the kids there'll be no snowman, I fear It's getting warmer and warmer by the year Time to get the hell out of here 'Cause everybody's losing their goodwill and cheer! [Outro: Distorted jingle bells fade, abrupt door slam] [End]
