[Intro] [Lazy bass groove] [Muted guitar lick] [Piano stabs] [Spoken] "Well... this started out as a banana muffin." [Verse 1] I had a little hunger and a sweet tooth attack Found some ripe bananas sitting in the rack Got out the flour, got out the eggs Then found a little dope hiding in the shed I chopped it up and threw it in the mix Then wandered off to do some other shit Came back later, couldn't remember why But the muffins smelled bloody beautiful, so I thought, "I'll try." [Chorus] Who put the weed in the muffins? Who put the weed in the cake? I know somebody did it But I can't remember who — for goodness sake! Who put the weed in the muffins? Why am I feeling so strange? I only had one little bite Now the whole bloody room has changed! [Verse 2] Mum rang up and said, "We're coming for tea" I said, "Come on over, that'll be lovely" Mum had a cuppa, Dad had one too They looked at the muffins and said, "Ooh, did you bake these for us?" I said, "Of course, help yourselves" Then watched them leave with a couple as well I shut the door and stood there alone Then realised... "I'm bloody stoned." [Chorus] Who put the weed in the muffins? Who put the weed in the cake? I know somebody did it But I can't remember making the mistake! Who put the weed in the muffins? Why am I feeling so strange? My feet are on the bloody floor But somehow they've moved three feet away! [Instrumental Break] [Bass gets deeper] [Drums slow into a heavy pocket] [Electric guitar bends lazily] [Harmonica answers with spaced-out notes] [Verse 3] I sat on the lounge and stared at the wall Thought it looked different, though it hadn't changed at all The dog walked past and I watched him go Thinking, "That's a very interesting fellow." I looked at the clock — it said half past two Looked again five seconds later — quarter past two I said, "Time's broken..." [Pause] "Or maybe it's me." [Bridge — DRUMS DROP OUT] Calm the farm... [Pause] Breathe in... [Pause] Breathe out... [Pause] Don't panic... [Harmonica] Just go with the flow. [Drums slowly return] [Verse 4] I couldn't feel my fingers, couldn't feel my toes Couldn't feel my arse underneath my clothes I thought, "Well, this is certainly new" Then spent twenty minutes watching the ceiling fan move Round and round, round and round Best entertainment I'd ever found I thought about getting up... Then thought... "Nah." [Chorus — BIG, DREAMY] Who put the weed in the muffins? Who put the weed in the cake? I finally remembered... [Beat drops] "OH NO... FOR FUCK'S SAKE!" Who put the weed in the muffins? Oh yeah... That would be me. [Final Verse] Woke up next morning feeling pretty damn fine Made myself a coffee and checked the time Saw one little muffin sitting there on the plate I looked at it carefully... "Mate, you're gonna wait." [Final Chorus] Who put the weed in the muffins? Who put the weed in the cake? Next time I'm writing down exactly What the bloody hell I bake! Who put the weed in the muffins? Now I know who's to blame I put the weed in the muffins... [Pause] ...and I'd probably do it again. [Outro] [Harmonica] [Lazy guitar] Calm the farm... Go with the flow... And for God's sake... Label the bloody bowl. [Final bass note]
